~characters of character~

I'm proud of my kids (like most moms), but I don't want to sin or cause them to sin, by bragging (not that that always stops me!).  After praying about it, I've come to the realization that I'm not bragging on my kids - or on their parents, when I notice godly character in them, but on God and His work in their lives.

Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."

It seems like after finding out I was pregnant with our first child, I had a fear of failure hanging over me.  Feelings of inadequacy and thoughts like, "What if we screw this kid up?" crept in many times over the years.  Over time, God has given me a peace about it.  Not that we'll do everything perfect, or that they'll be perfect or turn out just like I want them to, but that if I pursue godliness for myself and for my kids, God will be faithful to guide and direct our steps. He has, in fact, been faithful to do just that, and based upon past experience, I can only conclude that He will continue in His faithfulness.  Afterall, who wants our kids to be godly adults more than God, Himself?

     The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease.
                                                     Lamentations 3:22

There have been many questions we've asked God  to answer for us.  "Which doctor is trustworthy?  Which babysitter? Is it really okay to put them to sleep on  their belly?  Is it really okay to put them to sleep on their back?  Do we spank? Do we make them do chores?  What age is okay to spend the night with friends? Do we give them an allowance? Do we homeschool?  How do we homeschool?  How do we keep them safe?"  Time after time, God has answered our questions and put our minds and hearts at ease when we've been afraid of taking the next step -  afraid of messing up.

Lately, the kids have been in rare form.  Bickering has been at an all time high and egos and bad attitudes seem to be bursting at the seams!  Last week I was once again, questioning God.   "Are you sure we're supposed to homeschool?  Have I taught them anything good?"  I went to a place lower than I had been in a while.  To make it worse, these things weren't just happening at home.  Nothing stings worse than open sin.  It's easy to spot sin at home and deal with it before anyone knows about it.  When they choose to sin in front of people, it can quickly become about the embarassment instead of the sin.  After 14 years of parenting, this is still a challenge for me.

Knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.                                                                                                                         Romans 5:3-4

Two weeks ago, at a bible study, while laughing with some women about R's odd sense of humor (he's just like his dad), G ended up making a hurtful comment to me, calling me 'critical' - in front of several people.  I laughed it off, but I was hurt and she would later get a lecture I'm sure she won't forget soon (unless, of course, she zoned out!).  It was apparent, after talking to her that she didn't intend to hurt me, she just spoke before she thought - something I'm guilty of often.  Quite frankly, her words weren't nice - but they were true and I needed to hear them.  God has spoken to me through my kids many times.
After praying about it, speaking with her and then sharing what happened with Glen, I dropped it.  I chalked it up as a learning experience and I left it alone.  Last week, however, someone who witnessed "the incident" brought it up.  I was mortified!  The same feeling of embarassment came over me that had the week before.  I immediately started thinking bad thoughts.  "What am I doing?  I'm a horrible parent!  Why am I a leader?  I can't even lead my own kids!"  Just when I was convinced God made a huge mistake by allowing me to be a parent, He began to show signs of growth.

      Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

  Proverbs 22:6

Friday night, I had a leader's meeting for bible study and G was singing with the choir at the Homecoming game.  I hated to miss it, but Glen and R were there.  In typical teenage fashion, G asked to sit with friends after she was done singing.  Later she shared with Glen that a friend of a friend came to sit with them and began cussing - "the really bad words!".  When Glen asked what she did, she said she told her, "Hey, I don't talk that way!"

Since allowing her to attend school a few hours a day, I've wondered how she would react in situations just like this.  I know she's far from perfect, especially in my critical eyes, but God is working in her.  She has always had a boldness about her, and still does when dealing with me, but I haven't seen that in a while in her friendships.  God allowed me to see that He's refining her, but not removing those qualities.  Speaking boldly to me has gotten her in trouble more than a few times, but if I give her a safe place to be bold (as long as she's respectful), then she's more likely to speak boldly when she's away from me.

Instead of playing in our town, R played soccer in a nearby town this year, with brand new coaches and brand new teammates.  He was so nervous on his way to his first practice, his hands were shaking!  The season has been wonderful!  They haven't won a game yet (there are 2 left), but we've seen him step up and be a leader on the team - and his gift of encouragement shines on the field!  He's the first to give a "great job!" or "nice shot!" to a teammate.  I've seen God stretch him this season, but use him as well.

Last week we received a call that R had made the allstar team.  He's made the allstar team for several years in our town, but playing in a new town in front of all new faces, we warned him to not get his hopes up.  When the call came, we were all so proud of him!  Even G was yelling out, "Awesome!" and giving high fives!  When Glen spoke to the coach, he said, "We've taken notice of R.  He's a fantastic goalkeeper."  Words that would swell any dad's chest.  What an honor it is to be recognized for being good at what you love to do!  While we were excited for him, we were quick to warn him of the dangers of pride.

While we're proud of him for his accomplishments, perhaps the best words came today.  I took R to his first allstar practice and after meeting the coach, was told, "R is a very hard worker.  He has outstanding character on the soccer field."  I thanked him, then immediately gave thanks to God for His faithfulness.  God is faithful to show us where He's working when we ask.  Just when I allowed myself to think God wasn't working, He proved again that His work isn't evident overnight.  Thankfully He allows mistakes and He works through imperfect people like us.

Just to keep me humble and prove to me that the work is His and not mine, as soon as we got in the car, R was in a terrible mood and wouldn't speak almost our entire 45 minutes home. In my mind I was thinking, "If only that coach could see you now!"  God was gracious enough to allow this episode to be private.  He is faithful!

       Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

                                                                           1 Peter 5:7

It's silly to think I could do more for my kids than the Holy Spirit, but keeping the responsibility resting entirely on my shoulders instead of giving it to God is, in effect thinking just that. 

Parenting isn't for wimps!  Some weeks (or months) feel like a roller coaster ride with lots of hills, valleys and sharp turns.  Then there are periods of what feels like running in place - lots of energy spent, but no ground gained.  It's also not meant to be done alone, in our own strength.  Knowing that God is directing each step is the only thing that makes it worth while.  Only He can see the finish line.  He is faithful!  We just have to keep the goal in mind and daily surrender ourselves to Him and His plan for our lives and the lives of our kids.

Blessings,
,

~stunted growth~

Several weeks ago, my husband began preaching through the book of Genesis.  I must confess to you, I wasn't thrilled.  While I didn't grow up in church, since becoming a Christian over 17 years ago, I have taught countless lessons and craft projects about creation and the fall of man to numerous preschoolers!  What could be left to learn, right?  Wrong!

I think it's interesting that when God told Adam and Eve that they had done wrong, Adam blamed Eve and she blamed the serpent.  Neither wanted to acknowledge their sin - and neither sorry.  Fast forward to chapter 4.  Cain murders Abel because Abel's offering is pleasing to God and his isn't.  When God tells Cain of his punishment, he is clearly upset over the punishment, but not repentant.  God tells him he'll be a wanderer, yet he builds a city - and names it for his son.  Disobeying God and keeping the glory for man instead of giving glory to God.  Later, Cain's great great great grandson, Lamech killed two men.  When he confessed his sin to his wives, he said, "If Cain's revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech's is seventy-seven fold."  Lamech confessed his sin.

In my quiet time recently, God has revealed big truths in tiny bites.  Today He layed it on thick!  Am I truly repentant?  Am I sorry for the sins I commit, or am I sorry I've been caught or sorry I'll be punished?  When God reveals sin in my life, I usually let life's busyness be my excuse.  I can't count the times I've thrown together unhealthy meals for my family at the last minute or put quiet time with God on the back burner because our family schedule filled up before I squeezed it in.  What am I teaching my children through my disobedience?  It's easy to see through the book of Genesis that unconfessed sin can become generational sin.  Nothing would grieve my heart more than to know that I have stunted my children's growth in the Lord.

How many times have you heard a parent encourage their child to lie so they don't get in trouble?  It happens, though I'm sure they wouldn't call it lying.  It's deception nonetheless. Sometimes the consequences are too great for Mom and Dad to bear.  If little Johnny admits that he vandalized cars in the school parking lot, he won't get to play football.  If Sally tells Mary that she took her baby doll, Mary won't want to be her friend anymore.  It sounds ridiculous, but it happens!  While these are extremes, and most of us can never imagine allowing things like this to go on, we probably can imagine not grounding our four year old from television because it would mean I wouldn't have that 30 minutes during Dora to clean up the kitchen, or not taking away the Nintendo DS, because it keeps him quiet in the car on the way to Grandma's.  When we allow half-hearted repentance to us without consequences, we're setting our kids up to half-heartedly obey God.

Please don't think this post is about my terrible, disobedient children - far from it.  They're great!  I couldn't ask for better kids!  This is about me.  I've given excuses to God time and time again, like 'I can't help it', 'I'm under too much pressure', 'we're so busy' and I'm sure God's favorite is 'You know how I am....'  The problem is that God is never okay with an unrepentant heart.

While I can never perfect my walk with God, and I can't protect my kids from all sin, I can teach them to be repentant and graciously accept God's correction so He is glorified in their obedience.

The question is not if I sin or how often.  Obviously I'm not perfect and never will be, but what kind of example am I setting when I know I'm sinning and refuse to stop, or let my day dictate my attitude instead of standing firm on the Word?  Do I stop and call upon the name of the Lord?

God is continually sanding down the rough edges of my heart and molding me into who He wants me to be.  It's my belief that, besides the Holy Spirit, there is no better tool for transforming the heart than that of a child entrusted to you.  My heart's desire is to submit to Him fully in obedience, for my own sake - and the good of my kids.

Blessings,

~things are buzzing around here~

It seems that lately when I think about blogging, I think of ten other things I have to get done first!  There is much to do, but I simply had to write about our recent happenings! 

Because we homeschool our kids, we look for activities that include socializing and learning.  One of the ways we've been able to incorporate both is through 4H.  We've participated for three years and have loved it!  Our kids have taken welding and sailing classes and Grayson is taking sewing.  It really is a great resource.  Last year, a man in our club offered to teach beekeeping.  I must be honest.  I was completely fascinated and scared all at the same time!  I tried my best to talk my kids into signing up, but they were both totally against it.  It does sound crazy, but it's great science!  This year however, I put my foot down.  I told them they were taking it.  No options - 'cuz I'm Mom and I say so.  I knew after they got over their initial fears, they would have fun and they eventually began to love the idea!  No compaints at all.

The morning of their first meeting I had leader's meeting for Bible Study Fellowship, but I arrived home by 9 am.  Their meeting was at 10.  As I prepared to head out the door, Glen jumped up and said I could stay home and he would take them.  Obviously I wasn't staying home!  I was going!  So we all went.  All of the other kids in the class had taken it last year, so they were preparing to have hives of their own.  When we were asked, I thought we would just observe and learn, but Glen said, "No, let's get a hive!  What better way to learn?"  So we began preparing.  We looked up boxes and plans and he had full intentions of making a box, however life got busy.  Glen is taking two classes this semester, plus he has a full-time job as well as his ministry.  He went out of town 3 out of 4 weeks last month and we had a church member who became ill and passed away.  Before we knew it, it was time to pick up the bees and we had no box.  Glen quickly checked around and found a man 2 1/2 hours away who builds bee boxes.  Last Saturday (after an all day class for Glen and Grayson's basketball game) we made a quick trip to pick it up.

We finally arrived at our leader's house to pick up our bees at 9:30 pm.  I know they must have been thrilled that we waited until the absolute last minute!  When I saw the bees, once again I was amazed at these little creatures!  The queen hung inside a box and literally thousands (12,000 - 15,000 to be more precise!) of bees were clustered around her - protecting her.  There were even a few on the outside of the box who were focused and hanging on.  As our leader placed the bees in our car (yes, inside), Riley jumped out of the car crying, "I hate bees!"   It never occured to me that this would be such a major thing!  We got him calm enough to get home, but he sat on the edge of his seat the whole way.  Just in case he needed to jump out, I guess!  I was thinking, "are we crazy?"

After arriving home, the kids and I went inside while Glen dealt with the bees.  He did a super job!  He borrowed gloves and a hat with a vail from our leader.  I duct taped all of the edges of his clothing so bees didn't get in.  I wish I had pictures, but it was 10 pm and we were ready to be done!  After hanging the queen inside of our new box, he dumped the box of bees in the new bee box and headed inside - but not unscathed.  He managed to get stung - though only once, on his calf.

Obviously we knew there would be stings.  We've all been stung before, so we knew no one was allergic.....famous last words.  Glen woke up Sunday morning with major pain in his calf and it was swollen.  Sunday evening he got nauseous and ran a low grade fever.  Monday morning he couldn't put any weight on it, so he went to the doctor and was given a round of steroids and anti-biotics to take.  Last night, he laid on the couch and just had me rub it for what seemed like forever, because it itches. 
I know you're thinking we immediately got rid of the bees.  I must confess, I thought that's the way this story would end.  It would make since, right?  I even talked to the kids and prepared them for it.  Obviously if you're allergic to bees, you don't own any!  I mean, that's why we don't have a cat, for goodness sake!  Last night, I talked to Glen to see what he wants to do.  He's not your average guy.  "Just wait", he said.  Wait?  For what?  Wait to see how it goes.  Don't rush the decision.  One non-life threatening allergic reaction doesn't mean you're allergic.  Typical Glen.  Putting the kids before himself.  So we're waiting....

Meanwhile, we're getting attached to the bees - even Riley.  Yesterday he called me on his cell phone from across the street.  He was so excited, "Mom, our bees are in their garden!!!".  I'm not quite sure how he knew they were ours, but I'm glad they're already at work!  Glen even mowed the yard in shorts tonight, so I guess he's not afraid to get stung again.  Let me just state the obvious by saying if I had been the one to get stung and have that reaction, the bees would be gone!  In a New York minute.  Just sayin'.

Blessings,

~book review~

On This Day in Christian History, by Robert J. Morgan.

I knew when I ordered this book that it was divided into 365 daily devotions, but was pleasantly surprised with the content.  I'm not much of a history buff, but am finding that the longer I'm a Christian, the more interested I become in Christian history.  Not only are there daily devotions, there is a topical index in the back to point to a specific devotion.  I can look for devotions that talk specifically about peace or perseverance, and many other topics.  I am considering incorporating these facts in my kids' homeschool lessons - possibly as topic starters for writing assignments.  It's definitely not a replacement for in-depth Bible study, but I don't believe it was written for that purpose.  For a quick time of reflection, or neat, new information about Christian history, I definitely recommend this book.



I received this book for free from Booksneeze.com, with an agreement that I would give an honest review. If you're willing to blog your review of Christian books, go to http://www.booksneeze.com/ and register!

Blessings,





~trusting and praying~

Glen and I try to "pray without ceasing" concerning our kids.  Since before we began to homeschool, we have prayed about their education and which route to take.  God had laid homeschool on our hearts long before He led us to it.  They went to Christian school for several years before God called us to homeschool.  Every year, we have tried to make sure we're listening for God's voice where their education is concerned.  Are we homeschooling because we're called to it, or because it's the habit we're in now and we don't want to change what we're doing?  Each year we have heard God say, "Yes!  Homeschool!".  Without a doubt, it has been His plan.  This year however, we have had questions since the beginning of the year.  Not for both kids, but for our daughter.  She'll be in ninth grade next year and we have felt it would be a good time for her to go back - if it's God's plan.  Everything I have read says your high schooler must be in agreement to continue homeschooling through high school.  That makes sense.  School is not an option, but they should start getting some input about how they are schooled.  I just knew, given the choice, she'd pick school.  She's SO social!  She would also have the option of competing in sports and music competitions - which are important to her.  My immediate response was "NO!".  I cherish the time we spend together.  I love that I am her biggest influence (some days, admittedly not the best influence, however!)  My second reaction was to keep my feelings to myself.  If I told Glen, I was afraid he would jump on the opportunity before I could give my input (in case you didn't know, I'm a recovering control-freak!), and if I told Grayson, she would definitely jump on the opportunity to spend more time with friends and less time with me!

After several days of feeling like I needed to talk to Glen (funny how God does this), I was relieved to know he was having the same feelings.  Relieved and stressed out all at the same time.  Relieved that I wasn't crazy, stressed that I may have to send her.  We agreed to pray about it the rest of the year, then see where we are at the end of the school year.  Neither one would ask Grayson's opinion for now - after all, we're the parents (and I already knew her answer!).  Within a few weeks, we had both broken the agreement.  While talking with her, I felt there was an opening in the conversation where I could ask without it being a major ordeal.  I simply said, "Daddy and I are praying about whether we'll keep homeschooling you next year.  What d'ya think?"  She said, "I don't know".  I don't know?  She didn't jump at the chance to bust out of this joint?  I dropped it, but talked to Glen the next day.  Apparently the same kind of opening had come up in a conversation he had with her!  She gave him more information, though (yes, I'm totally jealous!).  She told him she was afraid that if she went to school, she'd lose her homeschooled friends.  Wow.  That's when it hit me.

I have grown very close to the moms in our homeschool co-op.  They are some of the best women I know - committed to Christ and to homeschooling.  I can call any of them or shoot them an email asking for prayer, and I know without a doubt they've got my back.  They are encouragers and a support system that I've so needed and drawn from as I've homeschooled my kids these last four years.  I began to realize that part of the reason I don't want her to go to school is because it may eventually lead to Riley going to school.....which would end our homeschool co-op days with other homeschool families.  These are times I treasure.  I know these ladies will always be friends, but I wouldn't spend as much time with them.  I definitely have to take "me" out of the equation.  "I" want more time with her, "I" want us to spend time with these families - but what does God want for our family?  There was definitely something to what Grayson said.  Will she lose her friends?  Probably not.  But will she spend alot less time with them?  Definitely!

I'm realizing that even at thirteen, she gives this decision more thought than I originally gave her credit for.  I still won't let her make the decision - that will be ours to make - by God's leading, but I'm considering her input to be much more valuable than I thought it would.  God will definitely use her to help reveal His will to us!

For now I'll just be faithful to pray....and trust that He will work all things for His good and for ours.
Blessings,

~bad habits and busyness~

I've developed a new bad habit.  Actually, I'm not even sure I can call it that.  You decide....

We homeschool our kids, so life has gotten busier in the last few weeks since school began.  Gone are the lazy days of summer (Ha! As if....).  We're back to business (or should I say busyness?).  While I would like to tell you how organized and efficient I am as a wife and mom, I'd be lying.  I am the type of person that works better from a list - but most days I can't even find it!  Lately I've been known to have 3 or 4 partial lists, because I've misplaced the previous ones!  This is so frustrating!  I'm not really sure how it happens.....it just does.  (That sounded so much like my ten year old son!)  My husband thinks I'm crazy.  Oh, he doesn't say it, but the look on his face says it all.  It's not uncommon for him to be going through the mail or a book and find one of my lists - from weeks or even months prior!  No kidding!

Recently I've added a new bad habit, though.  My laundry room is all the way in the back of my house.  Out of the way, which is good.....and bad.  My laundry routine lately is to:

1. Take the clothes out of the dryer and put them in a basket. 

2. Put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and start the dryer. 

3. Start the water in the washer along with a capful of liquid detergent (so that the detergent is dilluted by the time I get the clothes into the washer.)

4. Leave laundry room with intentions of collecting dirty clothes from our bedrooms.

5. Bring basket of clothes from the dryer into the living room to fold, then put away. 

6. Forget all about the fact that the washing machine is filling up and proceed with other duties. 

7.  Go to sleep and wake up.  Begin again at #1 - only to realize the soapy water has been sitting in my washing machine overnight! 

Ewww!  There is no way I am washing clothes in that water!  I am wasting so much water......and soap!  I'm trying to remember to take a basket of clothes with me when I first go to the laundry room - but I'm finding it hard to change my ways!  Am I going crazy?  Please tell me I'm not the only one that's this forgetful!

Blessings,

~fundraising~

 I really haven't had much to say lately, thankfully because I wouldn't have had time to blog anyway:)  Busy winding up the school year, baseball and softball, ministry, and now....a break-in at our church.  Not much was stolen, a few of our personal things, computer monitor and some money, but just a huge mess to clean up!  Praying people in our church don't become fearful or hold onto anger.  It is only stuff, after all.

The real reason I wanted to post is because some friends of ours are adopting from China and I'm looking for ways to help them raise money.  We're planning a pancake breakfast at our local Applebee's on July 10, but are also considering making a cookbook to sell.  If you have an adoption story we can add to it, or recipes - local or from foreign countries, please email them to me at legacyofloveblog@gmail.com.  Anything you can offer is appreciated.  If you'd like to keep up with the Lancaster's adoption process, you can follow them here.

Well, summer is here!  Enjoy yourself!

Blessings,

~community~

I have to confess, when I first started blogging, I did it solely for myself.  To put down thoughts that were scattered, on something besides a notebook that would eventually be misplaced, forever unable to locate.  Recently however, I've realized the effect other blogs are having on me.  As I browsed for like-minded women's blogs, I became encouraged by the fact that most of them don't have it as together as they would like either:)  Thanks for encouraging me!

I have great friends.  I have always been blessed with good friends - even from a young age.  When I started homeschooling my kids, the group of friends I had a lot in common with shrunk.  Though I am still friends with many, I get encouragement and have the opportunity to share my joy and frustration with those who also homeschool.  Without the homeschool moms in my town, I'd be lost!  Thanks for encouraging me.

Since beginning to blog, God has started to fill a huge void in my life through the blogging community.  I have many friends, but few are pastor's wives.  As a pastor's wife it's so hard to find anyone who completely understands where God has me.  There's nothing special about me because my husband's in the ministry (in fact, there's nothing special about him either! JUST KIDDING! He's special to me!), but I am viewed differently because of it.  As easy as it is to say you think your pastor's wife is "just like you" (and she is), the second she slips up, many are ready to condemn her for her mistakes.  This doesn't happen so much within our church (that I know of), but around town - friends of friends of friends, you know.  I've even heard someone say, "but you're a pastor's wife"!  Yes I am, but so imperfect.  Those of you who've been my friend, even before the ministry know this all too well:) You're saying, "is this really an issue?  I know you and I know you fail!".  Thanks for keeping it real!

I have been so encouraged by blogs of other wives in the ministry, and am realizing that though my blog was initially for me, my everyday ramblings and goof-ups could encourage a wife that's new to the ministry.  I'll continue to write for me - for my own sanity, but know that you are writing for me and I'm grateful!

God is once again proving Himself faithful to supply all of my needs.  If you are a ministry wife and you're reading this, chances are you've encouraged me - thank you!  If you're not, please pray for your pastor's wife and don't put her on a pedestal, she'll let you down.  Remember, she's just like you and she needs encouragement, too!

Blessings,

~bottomless~

If the last few months are any indication of what the next chapter of our lives will look like, we're in serious trouble!

My ten year old son, Riley has become a bottomless pit. He is constantly eating, but never full. He was blessed with good metabolism from birth, unlike me;-) He wakes up hungry every morning, and always has - even to the extent of doubling over in pain as soon as his feet hit the floor. No kidding!

Grayson, my twelve year old daughter, has been cooking breakfast lately (and let me say, I am loving this). But he decided this morning he would eat cereal. Three bowls later he is still hungry. Really?!!!  I made him wait after the second bowl so his belly could rest. Still hungry. He ate the third bowl. Still hungry. I made him wait and he complained pretty much non-stop for the next 45 minutes. I let him have a small, fifty-cent package of chocolate donuts we bought at the convenience store last night. Still hungry. By now I'm thinking he's putting on, so I say, "No way are you still hungry! Forget about it! You're not eating any more!" An hour later, still complaining so I let him have an apple. He walks to the sink, puts his bowl down, looks at the clock and says, "Oh, it's 11:30, lunch time." For real?!!!

This must be why people brought a tenth of their crops to the high priest in the Old Testament. Besides the fact that they wanted to honor God, the priests couldn't afford to feed their sons, I'm sure! I can totally see how making your kids work in the fields helps everyone. No crops, no food. If hunger were Riley's motivation, he'd do anything! God will have to grant special graces during Riley's teenage years, and I know He will. I may need to find a way to work from home, as well though;-)

Needless to say, school has been a wash this morning. We'll start again after lunch and I'll just let him nibble while he works. Thankful for him, but realizing life is so unfair. My measly little biscuit with egg whites will add 2 pounds to me this week but after eating like he did this morning and every other morning this week, he'll still be tall and slim. WOW!

Blessings,

~socialization or adaptability?~

As a homeschool mom, I've grown quite used to being told people don't think homeschoolers get enough socialization.  Every time I've been told this by people who know my kids, they are sure to tell me that my kids are the exception.  Usually my kids are the only homeschoolers they know.  I love my kids and they are wonderfully unique, but they are not the exception.  We know many homeschool families and have met very few that need more socialization.  It's the only subject that people feel open to give their negative opinions on without first being asked.  Most people wouldn't dream of seeing me wear a particular brand of clothing, then proceed to put down my choice of clothes (at least to my face!).  They wouldn't bash my denomination or religion to my face, but homeschool seems to force people to take one side or the other!  If they didn't choose homeschool, they usually haven't researched it - it's just different than what they did so it must be bad.  Let's face it, some people are socially awkward - whether they were homeschooled or not!  Some people have a harder time adapting to new people, new places or new circumstances than others. I like to think that my kids are adaptable. 

To answer your question:  yes, they are socialized.  Even though they are not in a classroom with 30 other kids their same age, they are socialized.  If you ask me, they are over-socialized!  They play baseball, basketball and soccer.  They go to church and to the grocery store.  They are active in 4H and participate in classes like physics, public speaking and crochet.  They take piano lessons and Grayson even plays cello in the public school orchestra (Gasp!  Yes, they let her!  That's another question people ask).  Since their dad is a pastor, they make ministry visits to shut-ins, hospitals and nursing homes - even playing the piano at a local nursing home to uplift the elderly.  They knock on neighborhood doors to invite strangers to church (with an adult).  They are mannerly and considerate of others (not all the time), not easily angered (except by one another), they are confident - they can walk into a room and speak to anyone, of any age, any background or any race, and be real and speak from the heart (mostly that's a good thing, sometimes - not so much).

No, they are not perfect kids, neither are their parents:)  They will make mistakes - but they are grounded and headed in the right direction. 

If you have a negative opinion about homeschool, please save it - I've heard it all before.  I know you comment because you think you are in the right, but you don't answer to God for these kids - Glen and I do.  We're not trying to push homeschool on anyone so please don't take offense.  We're just doing what we know is right for our kids.

Blessings,

~flashback~

I ran across an old blog from a few years ago that could have been written today.  I began to think I've come so far, but I'm back in the same place!  Is there a lesson I didn't learn?  Did God make me do a u-turn and take that loop again?  Why the deja vu?

October 17, 2007 I wrote my first and only blog entry until I started again last year.  The entry was titled ungratefulness.  I had just started homeschooling and was working mornings in a local church office.  Glen was just a little over two years into the ministry and was working a  full-time job in another town at the time.  I  was in a place where I felt I didn't appreciate where I was or all I'd been given by God.  Low and behold.....here I am again!  I've pasted the entry below.....

Ungratefulness
Category: Life

Okay, this is my first blog.  Hopefully not the last, but who knows…

I have problems with "the blog" because it's like journaling – which is private – only it's not private.  So what would be the point?  Admittedly, my thoughts are not always "reader-ready" as soon as I think them!  I actually wrote this out last night so I could think on my thoughts first…….huh?

Lately God's been dealing with me on a few levels.  I'm not ready to share everything (remember, I'm a newbie), but I'll share on one thing.

Nothing ticks me off quite like people who are ungrateful.  When I take 2 minutes out of my day to come to your drive-thru window, at least have the decency to say "thank you"!  I know you don't mean it when you say it – but I feel better about the world and where it's headed! 

If my kids were to open a gift and not act like it's the best gift they've ever received (even if it's clothes...again), I would be mortified – and they would know it!

When I spend every day going to work, then rushing home to get lunch and schooling the kids, then getting dinner on and rushing to practices and piano lessons, then someone complains that their favorite jeans aren't clean?  C'mon!  Be glad you have jeans!  Kids in 3^rd world countries don't even have jeans – or do they?

Why, if I have issues with everyone else's ungratefulness, am I so ungrateful for where God has me right now?  Not just now – but always!

Am I grateful?  Does having a family mean having more dirty laundry?  Of course!  But thank you, God for my family.  Does it mean I don't get to see my husband very much because he's working his tail off to support our family?  Definitely!  But thank you for the ministry – and the job to sustain our family.

God's showing me that the things that mean the most are the hardest work.  I don't want to look back with regret and see that I didn't enjoy the times when we had soccer practice and Peter Pan play practice and birthday parties to run to.   If I am just grateful for where I am right now, then I can recognize all the wonderful gifts God has given me.  I'm trying to soak it all up – take time to breathe it in.  Thank you, God for my family – and their dirty laundry.  And thank you for putting up with my ungratefulness.

Five days  after  that post, my grandmother, the most stable person in my life, fell in her kitchen floor and broke several bones.  Seven days after her fall, she died....I couldn't think about blogging for a long time.  Ungrateful?  You betcha!   

The job I had at the church only lasted a few months, thank goodness.  Church  people are the hardest to please;-) God blessed Glen with another job.  More pay and in our  town.  Our life slowed down a little for a while.  It seems like busyness is creeping in again.  As I've said before, we're trying to pray over each activity and let the Holy Spirit guide - after all, no one can guide quite like Him, right?

I have come to terms with the death of my grandma and am so thankful she didn't suffer long on this earth. Most days I try not to think  about the fact that she's gone, but when I have a problem with the kids and I need answers, I miss being able to drop in on her for her "kitchen table" advice.  When the kids do something quirky or say something funny, I miss her sweet, gentle laugh. Yes, I  still miss her dearly and long to talk to her again and share a glass of iced tea with her at heaven's kitchen table.

We are busy, there's no question.  But God, please help me to slow down long enough to learn the lessons  You have for me the first time around!

Blessings,

~wake up call~

I've been pondering lately on something that happened last week.  I have been struggling with busyness and how to prune activities from our lives without throwing them all out and starting new - which, personally is my favorite option ;-)  A life in the ministry is not a quiet, peaceful life.  It's very busy, but I love our ministry!

Glen was in Washington D.C. last week on a business trip and it seemed like everything had to be done while he was away.  Grayson's best friend was moving to Arkansas and she wanted to give her a party, so I let her (and I'm very glad I did - at 12 years old, it's a BIG DEAL when your best friend moves), a woman from church was having surgery and I wanted to - and needed to be there, basketball practice, filling in for Glen during bible study, my week to teach at homeschool co-op....I began to feel overwhelmed - quickly.

Thursday afternoon, Grayson and Riley wanted to take their friends, who were moving, to the YMCA with them.  I dropped them off at the Y, headed over to help their mom do a little packing (not much, really), then went to the Y and picked them up, dropped Grayson off at home to get ready for her basketball practice and took their friends home.  After I dropped them off, Riley and I were headed home to get Grayson and off to practice.  We had 15 minutes to get there!  We rounded the corner after leaving their street and a very small, bent over elderly lady was rolling her very large garbage can down her driveway.  Riley said, "Mom, pull over so I can help her!" and before I knew it, words were out of my mouth that I couldn't take back.  "Don't you know we're in a hurry?    W  e    d  o  n  '  t    h  a  v  e    t  i  m  e    t  o    h  e  l  p    h  e  r  !  !  !"  As soon as I said it, I pulled the car over to the side of the road.  What kind of mom am I?  Isn't this why we homeschool, to spend time teaching the ways of Christ?  Too busy to help?  Really?

While Riley got out and helped the lady with her garbage, I prayed for forgiveness.  "Oh God, what am I doing?  Thank you for grabbing a hold of me with the words of my son."

By the way, we were only 2 minutes late for basketball practice.  We've been later than that with no excuse before!  Riley isn't just the "baby" anymore.  I'm going to purpose to really listen to him from now on.  Apparently he's learning how to do the right thing from someone ;-)

This week has once again been a busy one, but with purpose.  I'm trying to prioritize and pray over activities.

Thank you Lord for my busy life, and for kids who will speak up to even me about doing the right thing.

Blessings,

~summing it up~

As I thought about whether or not to blog, I went back and forth in my mind about several things. I'm pretty much an open book - which is the problem. I'm more likely to tell you more than you need to know about any situation. Fine by me, but not so fine by my husband. After 16 years of marriage I'm learning to keep my book (and my mouth) closed on the issues that may embarrass him. I must admit, though, I'm still very much a work in progress. Praise God that He has poured His grace and mercy over me!

I am a home-educating mom of 2 wonderful kids and a ministry wife. God is truly amazing! If I could have looked into the future 20 years ago, I would've passed out from unbelief! I never would've imagined being used in the ways God has chosen to use me. I also never could have imagined being stretched this far:)

I hope to get to know many of you through this blog, but my earnest prayer is that God is glorified through my words and deeds.

Blessings,