~hail to the sleeve~

Remember sleeves?  What ever happened to them?  They used to be all the rage!  There's all kinds of sleeves.  Long sleeves, short sleeves, capped and even three quarter sleeves.  I still wear them daily, but unfortunately I see them quickly disappearing.  I love sleeves!  I refuse to go without them!  Whoever invented the sleeve is a genius in my book!

All joking aside, I find myself browsing through websites or magazines and I feel the need to cover girls up with a blanket.  The only thing that seems to be more common than the missing sleeve is the severely short skirt accompanied by bare legs and mile-high heels.  I'm not judging.  Really, I'm not.  I understand the pressure to fit in.  I haven't always been a prude!  I too, tried to push the envelope where hemlines and necklines were concerned when I was a teenager - and I sometimes I succeeded. That's what kids do - they push limits.  And who could blame them when their role models - like Beyonce`, Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan, just to name a few - are leading in the cause to abolish the sleeve (and most other parts of the dress)?

Parents are supposed to set limits.  That's our job.  And when our teenage girls come crying about how everyone is dressing that way or no one is wearing what we've bought her, our job is to hold on as tight as we can to the limits.  I'm not talking about never compromising.  Compromise has to happen at times.  Give in on style or color.  After all, (and I know this goes against everything we've been taught) sin is ugly, but ugly isn't a sin.  Modesty should not be compromised!   

I searched the Bible for counsel on the matter and here are a few of the verses I found on the subject of modesty:

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control. - 1 Timothy 2:9a

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

And as a parent, perhaps the most convicting verse of all...

But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! Matthew 18:6-7

As the mom of a daughter, it frustrates me to fight against the "norm" on a daily basis.  I've been told (more than once) by well-meaning people that I can't protect her from everything.  This is so true.  I'm fully aware that I'm not capable of protecting her from everything.  That's actually not my intent - or my job.  God won't even choose to protect her from everything!  My job is to set limits and lead her, pointing her to Christ who will guide her by the Holy Spirit - if she will yield to Him, and to pray, pray, pray.  Modesty is not about covering up so no one will notice her (but would that be so bad? Ha!).  It's about the condition of the heart.  It's about obedience.  God's word is clear.  He expects obedience.  

As well as having a daughter, I'm also the mother of a pre-teen son (gulp).  The older he gets the more I notice the behavior of girls around him.  Girls have become significantly more forward since I was a girl!  Part of how girls relate to boys is in how they dress.

And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily (or deceptive) of heart. - Proverbs 7:10

Recently I was looking at pictures of kids who had attended a dance. (I'm not opposed to dancing, by the way:) ) It was a conversation with a friend about these pictures that inspired this blog post.  Pictures had been taken before leaving the house and the happy couple was all smiles.  After pics of the couple by themselves, there were group pictures of several friends and their dates.  When I looked at the group photo, I was amazed!  Each girl looked like the next!  Their dresses were almost identical - and they were all missing sleeves (and most were missing much more!).  The longer I looked at the picture, the harder it hit me.  These boys would be heading off to a dance where there would be hundreds of girls dressed just like this.  Hundreds!  In an attempt to normalize our daughters, we've put our sons in the middle of a no-win situation!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:27-28

I wonder if we realize what we're doing to our sons.  We train them to respect girls, then in the most awkward years of their life, when they're barely old enough to shave, we put them in a sea of scantily dressed girls their own age who've been dressed to look 10 years older and tell them to mind their manners.  Look but don't touch?  Matthew 5:27-28 tells us that's not good enough!  How is a boy suppose to keep his thoughts pure, let alone his actions, when he looks up and he's surrounded by a roomful of teenage girls dressed like sexy adult women?  Do we expect too much from our sons?  Or are we expecting them to give into sin, so we quit trying to keep the temptations away?  Grown men lose the battle with lust, and we throw our boys in the fight?  I've often heard "Boys will be boys".  Really?  We're giving them a pass on obedience because of their gender?  God never excludes anyone from accountability.

Please hear my heart.  I don't believe it's our intent to dress our daughters so as to require every ounce of self-control of every boy they cross paths with (and the prayers of their mamas), but I do think our society as a whole is clueless as to the reprecussions.   Our daughters are beautiful just the way God made them.  They don't know that unless we, as parents convey that to them - in our words and our actions.  After all, what's wrong with a fourteen year old that looks fourteen?  It's okay to dress up and look pretty - it's not okay to look sexy. 

For our daughters who are being told they're worthless unless they bare all (or most), and for our sons who battle daily against lust within their own hearts and minds - say you'll join me in the fight to retrieve the sleeve! 

Blessings,

~characters of character~

I'm proud of my kids (like most moms), but I don't want to sin or cause them to sin, by bragging (not that that always stops me!).  After praying about it, I've come to the realization that I'm not bragging on my kids - or on their parents, when I notice godly character in them, but on God and His work in their lives.

Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."

It seems like after finding out I was pregnant with our first child, I had a fear of failure hanging over me.  Feelings of inadequacy and thoughts like, "What if we screw this kid up?" crept in many times over the years.  Over time, God has given me a peace about it.  Not that we'll do everything perfect, or that they'll be perfect or turn out just like I want them to, but that if I pursue godliness for myself and for my kids, God will be faithful to guide and direct our steps. He has, in fact, been faithful to do just that, and based upon past experience, I can only conclude that He will continue in His faithfulness.  Afterall, who wants our kids to be godly adults more than God, Himself?

     The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease.
                                                     Lamentations 3:22

There have been many questions we've asked God  to answer for us.  "Which doctor is trustworthy?  Which babysitter? Is it really okay to put them to sleep on  their belly?  Is it really okay to put them to sleep on their back?  Do we spank? Do we make them do chores?  What age is okay to spend the night with friends? Do we give them an allowance? Do we homeschool?  How do we homeschool?  How do we keep them safe?"  Time after time, God has answered our questions and put our minds and hearts at ease when we've been afraid of taking the next step -  afraid of messing up.

Lately, the kids have been in rare form.  Bickering has been at an all time high and egos and bad attitudes seem to be bursting at the seams!  Last week I was once again, questioning God.   "Are you sure we're supposed to homeschool?  Have I taught them anything good?"  I went to a place lower than I had been in a while.  To make it worse, these things weren't just happening at home.  Nothing stings worse than open sin.  It's easy to spot sin at home and deal with it before anyone knows about it.  When they choose to sin in front of people, it can quickly become about the embarassment instead of the sin.  After 14 years of parenting, this is still a challenge for me.

Knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.                                                                                                                         Romans 5:3-4

Two weeks ago, at a bible study, while laughing with some women about R's odd sense of humor (he's just like his dad), G ended up making a hurtful comment to me, calling me 'critical' - in front of several people.  I laughed it off, but I was hurt and she would later get a lecture I'm sure she won't forget soon (unless, of course, she zoned out!).  It was apparent, after talking to her that she didn't intend to hurt me, she just spoke before she thought - something I'm guilty of often.  Quite frankly, her words weren't nice - but they were true and I needed to hear them.  God has spoken to me through my kids many times.
After praying about it, speaking with her and then sharing what happened with Glen, I dropped it.  I chalked it up as a learning experience and I left it alone.  Last week, however, someone who witnessed "the incident" brought it up.  I was mortified!  The same feeling of embarassment came over me that had the week before.  I immediately started thinking bad thoughts.  "What am I doing?  I'm a horrible parent!  Why am I a leader?  I can't even lead my own kids!"  Just when I was convinced God made a huge mistake by allowing me to be a parent, He began to show signs of growth.

      Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

  Proverbs 22:6

Friday night, I had a leader's meeting for bible study and G was singing with the choir at the Homecoming game.  I hated to miss it, but Glen and R were there.  In typical teenage fashion, G asked to sit with friends after she was done singing.  Later she shared with Glen that a friend of a friend came to sit with them and began cussing - "the really bad words!".  When Glen asked what she did, she said she told her, "Hey, I don't talk that way!"

Since allowing her to attend school a few hours a day, I've wondered how she would react in situations just like this.  I know she's far from perfect, especially in my critical eyes, but God is working in her.  She has always had a boldness about her, and still does when dealing with me, but I haven't seen that in a while in her friendships.  God allowed me to see that He's refining her, but not removing those qualities.  Speaking boldly to me has gotten her in trouble more than a few times, but if I give her a safe place to be bold (as long as she's respectful), then she's more likely to speak boldly when she's away from me.

Instead of playing in our town, R played soccer in a nearby town this year, with brand new coaches and brand new teammates.  He was so nervous on his way to his first practice, his hands were shaking!  The season has been wonderful!  They haven't won a game yet (there are 2 left), but we've seen him step up and be a leader on the team - and his gift of encouragement shines on the field!  He's the first to give a "great job!" or "nice shot!" to a teammate.  I've seen God stretch him this season, but use him as well.

Last week we received a call that R had made the allstar team.  He's made the allstar team for several years in our town, but playing in a new town in front of all new faces, we warned him to not get his hopes up.  When the call came, we were all so proud of him!  Even G was yelling out, "Awesome!" and giving high fives!  When Glen spoke to the coach, he said, "We've taken notice of R.  He's a fantastic goalkeeper."  Words that would swell any dad's chest.  What an honor it is to be recognized for being good at what you love to do!  While we were excited for him, we were quick to warn him of the dangers of pride.

While we're proud of him for his accomplishments, perhaps the best words came today.  I took R to his first allstar practice and after meeting the coach, was told, "R is a very hard worker.  He has outstanding character on the soccer field."  I thanked him, then immediately gave thanks to God for His faithfulness.  God is faithful to show us where He's working when we ask.  Just when I allowed myself to think God wasn't working, He proved again that His work isn't evident overnight.  Thankfully He allows mistakes and He works through imperfect people like us.

Just to keep me humble and prove to me that the work is His and not mine, as soon as we got in the car, R was in a terrible mood and wouldn't speak almost our entire 45 minutes home. In my mind I was thinking, "If only that coach could see you now!"  God was gracious enough to allow this episode to be private.  He is faithful!

       Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

                                                                           1 Peter 5:7

It's silly to think I could do more for my kids than the Holy Spirit, but keeping the responsibility resting entirely on my shoulders instead of giving it to God is, in effect thinking just that. 

Parenting isn't for wimps!  Some weeks (or months) feel like a roller coaster ride with lots of hills, valleys and sharp turns.  Then there are periods of what feels like running in place - lots of energy spent, but no ground gained.  It's also not meant to be done alone, in our own strength.  Knowing that God is directing each step is the only thing that makes it worth while.  Only He can see the finish line.  He is faithful!  We just have to keep the goal in mind and daily surrender ourselves to Him and His plan for our lives and the lives of our kids.

Blessings,
,

~stunted growth~

Several weeks ago, my husband began preaching through the book of Genesis.  I must confess to you, I wasn't thrilled.  While I didn't grow up in church, since becoming a Christian over 17 years ago, I have taught countless lessons and craft projects about creation and the fall of man to numerous preschoolers!  What could be left to learn, right?  Wrong!

I think it's interesting that when God told Adam and Eve that they had done wrong, Adam blamed Eve and she blamed the serpent.  Neither wanted to acknowledge their sin - and neither sorry.  Fast forward to chapter 4.  Cain murders Abel because Abel's offering is pleasing to God and his isn't.  When God tells Cain of his punishment, he is clearly upset over the punishment, but not repentant.  God tells him he'll be a wanderer, yet he builds a city - and names it for his son.  Disobeying God and keeping the glory for man instead of giving glory to God.  Later, Cain's great great great grandson, Lamech killed two men.  When he confessed his sin to his wives, he said, "If Cain's revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech's is seventy-seven fold."  Lamech confessed his sin.

In my quiet time recently, God has revealed big truths in tiny bites.  Today He layed it on thick!  Am I truly repentant?  Am I sorry for the sins I commit, or am I sorry I've been caught or sorry I'll be punished?  When God reveals sin in my life, I usually let life's busyness be my excuse.  I can't count the times I've thrown together unhealthy meals for my family at the last minute or put quiet time with God on the back burner because our family schedule filled up before I squeezed it in.  What am I teaching my children through my disobedience?  It's easy to see through the book of Genesis that unconfessed sin can become generational sin.  Nothing would grieve my heart more than to know that I have stunted my children's growth in the Lord.

How many times have you heard a parent encourage their child to lie so they don't get in trouble?  It happens, though I'm sure they wouldn't call it lying.  It's deception nonetheless. Sometimes the consequences are too great for Mom and Dad to bear.  If little Johnny admits that he vandalized cars in the school parking lot, he won't get to play football.  If Sally tells Mary that she took her baby doll, Mary won't want to be her friend anymore.  It sounds ridiculous, but it happens!  While these are extremes, and most of us can never imagine allowing things like this to go on, we probably can imagine not grounding our four year old from television because it would mean I wouldn't have that 30 minutes during Dora to clean up the kitchen, or not taking away the Nintendo DS, because it keeps him quiet in the car on the way to Grandma's.  When we allow half-hearted repentance to us without consequences, we're setting our kids up to half-heartedly obey God.

Please don't think this post is about my terrible, disobedient children - far from it.  They're great!  I couldn't ask for better kids!  This is about me.  I've given excuses to God time and time again, like 'I can't help it', 'I'm under too much pressure', 'we're so busy' and I'm sure God's favorite is 'You know how I am....'  The problem is that God is never okay with an unrepentant heart.

While I can never perfect my walk with God, and I can't protect my kids from all sin, I can teach them to be repentant and graciously accept God's correction so He is glorified in their obedience.

The question is not if I sin or how often.  Obviously I'm not perfect and never will be, but what kind of example am I setting when I know I'm sinning and refuse to stop, or let my day dictate my attitude instead of standing firm on the Word?  Do I stop and call upon the name of the Lord?

God is continually sanding down the rough edges of my heart and molding me into who He wants me to be.  It's my belief that, besides the Holy Spirit, there is no better tool for transforming the heart than that of a child entrusted to you.  My heart's desire is to submit to Him fully in obedience, for my own sake - and the good of my kids.

Blessings,

~things are buzzing around here~

It seems that lately when I think about blogging, I think of ten other things I have to get done first!  There is much to do, but I simply had to write about our recent happenings! 

Because we homeschool our kids, we look for activities that include socializing and learning.  One of the ways we've been able to incorporate both is through 4H.  We've participated for three years and have loved it!  Our kids have taken welding and sailing classes and Grayson is taking sewing.  It really is a great resource.  Last year, a man in our club offered to teach beekeeping.  I must be honest.  I was completely fascinated and scared all at the same time!  I tried my best to talk my kids into signing up, but they were both totally against it.  It does sound crazy, but it's great science!  This year however, I put my foot down.  I told them they were taking it.  No options - 'cuz I'm Mom and I say so.  I knew after they got over their initial fears, they would have fun and they eventually began to love the idea!  No compaints at all.

The morning of their first meeting I had leader's meeting for Bible Study Fellowship, but I arrived home by 9 am.  Their meeting was at 10.  As I prepared to head out the door, Glen jumped up and said I could stay home and he would take them.  Obviously I wasn't staying home!  I was going!  So we all went.  All of the other kids in the class had taken it last year, so they were preparing to have hives of their own.  When we were asked, I thought we would just observe and learn, but Glen said, "No, let's get a hive!  What better way to learn?"  So we began preparing.  We looked up boxes and plans and he had full intentions of making a box, however life got busy.  Glen is taking two classes this semester, plus he has a full-time job as well as his ministry.  He went out of town 3 out of 4 weeks last month and we had a church member who became ill and passed away.  Before we knew it, it was time to pick up the bees and we had no box.  Glen quickly checked around and found a man 2 1/2 hours away who builds bee boxes.  Last Saturday (after an all day class for Glen and Grayson's basketball game) we made a quick trip to pick it up.

We finally arrived at our leader's house to pick up our bees at 9:30 pm.  I know they must have been thrilled that we waited until the absolute last minute!  When I saw the bees, once again I was amazed at these little creatures!  The queen hung inside a box and literally thousands (12,000 - 15,000 to be more precise!) of bees were clustered around her - protecting her.  There were even a few on the outside of the box who were focused and hanging on.  As our leader placed the bees in our car (yes, inside), Riley jumped out of the car crying, "I hate bees!"   It never occured to me that this would be such a major thing!  We got him calm enough to get home, but he sat on the edge of his seat the whole way.  Just in case he needed to jump out, I guess!  I was thinking, "are we crazy?"

After arriving home, the kids and I went inside while Glen dealt with the bees.  He did a super job!  He borrowed gloves and a hat with a vail from our leader.  I duct taped all of the edges of his clothing so bees didn't get in.  I wish I had pictures, but it was 10 pm and we were ready to be done!  After hanging the queen inside of our new box, he dumped the box of bees in the new bee box and headed inside - but not unscathed.  He managed to get stung - though only once, on his calf.

Obviously we knew there would be stings.  We've all been stung before, so we knew no one was allergic.....famous last words.  Glen woke up Sunday morning with major pain in his calf and it was swollen.  Sunday evening he got nauseous and ran a low grade fever.  Monday morning he couldn't put any weight on it, so he went to the doctor and was given a round of steroids and anti-biotics to take.  Last night, he laid on the couch and just had me rub it for what seemed like forever, because it itches. 
I know you're thinking we immediately got rid of the bees.  I must confess, I thought that's the way this story would end.  It would make since, right?  I even talked to the kids and prepared them for it.  Obviously if you're allergic to bees, you don't own any!  I mean, that's why we don't have a cat, for goodness sake!  Last night, I talked to Glen to see what he wants to do.  He's not your average guy.  "Just wait", he said.  Wait?  For what?  Wait to see how it goes.  Don't rush the decision.  One non-life threatening allergic reaction doesn't mean you're allergic.  Typical Glen.  Putting the kids before himself.  So we're waiting....

Meanwhile, we're getting attached to the bees - even Riley.  Yesterday he called me on his cell phone from across the street.  He was so excited, "Mom, our bees are in their garden!!!".  I'm not quite sure how he knew they were ours, but I'm glad they're already at work!  Glen even mowed the yard in shorts tonight, so I guess he's not afraid to get stung again.  Let me just state the obvious by saying if I had been the one to get stung and have that reaction, the bees would be gone!  In a New York minute.  Just sayin'.

Blessings,

~the great christian cover-up~

It's been awhile since I've blogged, but this week I've had something on my mind.  What is our main job as Christians?  To make disciples?  How are we to do this if we're not real about our own struggles?  Also, how can we be held accountable if we keep our struggles a secret?

If you've read many of my blogposts, you know I didn't grow up in church.  Far from it, in fact.  I was born out of wedlock to a teenage mom and my mom became a Christian the same year I did.  I was twenty one - she was 39.  When my mom found out she was pregnant at age 17, she also found out that my dad had gotten another girl pregnant.  He married the other girl.  I have a half-sister who's 15 days older than me.  I say this to say that, while human nature takes over and we all have tendencies to hide our mistakes and put our best face forward, I have never had a desire to pretend things are perfect.  For the most part, what you see is what you get.  I have some struggles that I deal with that I share openly, and I have more private struggles that only a close few know about.  I try to share everything with Glen in an attempt to be held accountable, but I don't think that's the norm for most Christians.  The longer I'm a Christian, the more "plastic" people I meet.  You know, the kind that seem like they have it all together and always have!  (I should also say that I have met many wonderful, authentic Christians who have opened up and let me in their world).  I don't say this to judge, it's definitely only because of the path God set me on that I tend to be more transparent by nature (sometimes to a fault!).  I spent my entire childhood embarassed that my parents weren't married, but when your last name isn't the same as your dad's and your sister is your same age, you have to be upfront with people.  I'm sure I tried to cover it up from time to time (and I definitely didn't approach the subject first), but there came a time when I realized it wasn't my mistake and I shouldn't be embarassed by it.  (This excludes having to tell my kids when they were old enough to understand.  I definitely wanted to pretend everything was perfect for them). 

Over time, however, I came to another realization - we all make mistakes, and not only should I not be embarassed by them, I should glory in the fact that God rescued me from that and I should be upfront with everyone.  I should not only share about my past, but about my current struggles as well.  People need to see that other Christians are real people.  While it's not always appropriate to share every struggle while you're in the midst of it, it is appropriate to share that God is dealing with you in a certain area - and it's always appropriate to share after God has brought you out of it!  I'm still treading lightly on this path where my kids are concerned.  I definitely want to be real with them, but I don't want to over-share regarding my past.  So far, God has given me words to speak to them.  I can only trust that He'll continue to do so.

Recently I learned of a boy from my childhood who is involved in a very sinful lifestyle.  This is someone that was raised in a Christian home.  I was saddened when I read his blogpost that said the first time he went to a gay bar alone, he ran into a pastor from church camp.  This seemed somehow to put the stamp of approval on it - almost normalizing it.  I've never walked in his shoes and I don't presume to know all of the ends and outs of homosexuality.  I only know what I learned from the gay men my mom worked with as a hairdresser, and that the Bible says any kind of sex outside of marriage is wrong. 

Yesterday I read that the Executive Director of the Missouri Baptist Convention gave his resignation for "immoral acts with a woman".  While I'm not surprised (not because I know this to be in his character, but because he's a human being),  it seems like one more scar on the church.  One more excuse people will give for "the church" letting them down. 

None of us are perfect, but do we convey that enough to other believers, and unbelievers for that matter?  How do we get rid of the myth that Christians are perfect?  How, in trying to live a life, holy and pleasing to God, do we really get across the fact that we are only holy because of the blood shed on our behalf?   It's probably evident, but let me say out loud that I seriously screw up on a daily basis.   If you're lifting me up as someone to be like, you need to raise your bar - I'm way off the mark!

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-9

While praying about both of these situations, God began to lay on my heart that this is the very reason we are to be transparent.  If I am not willing to share my story of how God has gotten me through the trials in my life and in the process, help out a fellow believer, what exactly is the purpose in Him getting me through them?  These are also reasons to have an  accountability partner.  Satan does his best work where there are secrets.  In both of the cases above, men in the ministry not only sinned, but led someone else into deeper sin.  Recognizing our weaknesses and having someone to hold us accountable are key.

So while I don't usually put on a fake face and pretend things are perfect, after thinking about the previous situations, I'm feeling convicted for covering up for other people.  A very close member of my family is participating in a lifestyle I don't want my kids around.  The issue is not whether I'll let her see my kids.  I will, I just don't want her lifestyle flaunted in front of them.  I have let her see the kids at our house or in public, as long as there's no mention of what she's doing.   As I'm thinking about transparency and "being real", I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing.  I can only pray that I am.  Do I let them know what she's doing and that I don't agree with it, thus using her as an example or do I pretend everything's fine for now in order to protect her reputation?   I don't want to make her look bad, but my fear is that my kids will find out anyway and not know that I stood against what she was doing.  Oh Lord, let my motives be pure and pleasing to You!
 Blessings,

~bad habits and busyness~

I've developed a new bad habit.  Actually, I'm not even sure I can call it that.  You decide....

We homeschool our kids, so life has gotten busier in the last few weeks since school began.  Gone are the lazy days of summer (Ha! As if....).  We're back to business (or should I say busyness?).  While I would like to tell you how organized and efficient I am as a wife and mom, I'd be lying.  I am the type of person that works better from a list - but most days I can't even find it!  Lately I've been known to have 3 or 4 partial lists, because I've misplaced the previous ones!  This is so frustrating!  I'm not really sure how it happens.....it just does.  (That sounded so much like my ten year old son!)  My husband thinks I'm crazy.  Oh, he doesn't say it, but the look on his face says it all.  It's not uncommon for him to be going through the mail or a book and find one of my lists - from weeks or even months prior!  No kidding!

Recently I've added a new bad habit, though.  My laundry room is all the way in the back of my house.  Out of the way, which is good.....and bad.  My laundry routine lately is to:

1. Take the clothes out of the dryer and put them in a basket. 

2. Put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and start the dryer. 

3. Start the water in the washer along with a capful of liquid detergent (so that the detergent is dilluted by the time I get the clothes into the washer.)

4. Leave laundry room with intentions of collecting dirty clothes from our bedrooms.

5. Bring basket of clothes from the dryer into the living room to fold, then put away. 

6. Forget all about the fact that the washing machine is filling up and proceed with other duties. 

7.  Go to sleep and wake up.  Begin again at #1 - only to realize the soapy water has been sitting in my washing machine overnight! 

Ewww!  There is no way I am washing clothes in that water!  I am wasting so much water......and soap!  I'm trying to remember to take a basket of clothes with me when I first go to the laundry room - but I'm finding it hard to change my ways!  Am I going crazy?  Please tell me I'm not the only one that's this forgetful!

Blessings,

~i'll take it any way i can get it~

Yesterday was Memorial Day, and although I have many veterans in my life and I am thankful for my freedom, lately any day that Glen has off has become a day to "catch up" on cleaning and organizing.  I know Glen must LOVE this!

We started the day by having breakfast in bed, made by our sweet 12 year old, Grayson.  She's learning the finer points of cooking, and we're letting her practice on us;-)  Last time she made omelets, Glen informed her that he likes "the works" on his!  She made sure I got everything she needed from the store - and she loaded his omelet down with ham, cheese, onion and God only knows what else...  I'm a simple girl - cheese only, please.

So that was pretty much the end of our holiday.  From the time we got up, we got busy.  Glen did yard work (and Riley helped), then showered, then started organizing the bedroom.  Closets, drawers, you name it.....even my jewelry box!  That thing hasn't been organized in a decade!

I cleaned in the rest of the house, while the kids cleaned in their rooms.  They weeded out clothes that don't fit and even cleaned under their beds (I don't even want to know what lurks under there!) - and yes, that took all day.  I am ashamed to say that as much as I love a clean house, with everything neatly in it's place and the smell of (insert your favorite scented cleaner here - mine is Pine Sol), I cannot keep it that way for the life of me!  I don't know if it's because we're so busy and we're in and out of our house so often, or if it's because we homeschool - so the kids are always there (the down-side to the up-side), or if we're just slobs!  Whatever the reason, I hate the fact that I can't keep it together.  One elderly lady from church always says, "One day you'll have all the time you need to keep a clean house.  Just enjoy those kids!"  I don't want to wish my time away with my kids, I'd just like to enjoy them in a clean house;-)  The easy answer here is to hire someone to help, but I can't justify spending the money when I'm home!  Also, at this point, I feel I need to clean up for the cleaning lady;-)

As a side-note, after I walked into the bedroom last night, exhausted from the day, I looked up at my pretty wrought iron candle holder hanging on the wall to find that Glen had conveniently turned it into a hat rack.  I was too tired to fight about it.  I'll sneak them into the closet at some point.  Right now I'm just grateful for his help - and I'll take it any way I can get it!

Blessings,

~fundraising~

 I really haven't had much to say lately, thankfully because I wouldn't have had time to blog anyway:)  Busy winding up the school year, baseball and softball, ministry, and now....a break-in at our church.  Not much was stolen, a few of our personal things, computer monitor and some money, but just a huge mess to clean up!  Praying people in our church don't become fearful or hold onto anger.  It is only stuff, after all.

The real reason I wanted to post is because some friends of ours are adopting from China and I'm looking for ways to help them raise money.  We're planning a pancake breakfast at our local Applebee's on July 10, but are also considering making a cookbook to sell.  If you have an adoption story we can add to it, or recipes - local or from foreign countries, please email them to me at legacyofloveblog@gmail.com.  Anything you can offer is appreciated.  If you'd like to keep up with the Lancaster's adoption process, you can follow them here.

Well, summer is here!  Enjoy yourself!

Blessings,

~mother's day~

Today, like every Saturday morning I woke up around 4:30 to get to bible study leader's meeting, but hadn't gotten to sleep until after 1:00. I'm not sure what's been going on with me - a lot on my mind, I suppose.

Leader's meeting was wonderful as usual. Bitter-sweet because this was our last discussion until September. I'm finding that, though I'll miss BSF this summer, I'm in need of a break. It will be nice to have a few months of Saturday mornings to sleep a little longer and Monday evenings with Glen and the kids. I'm praying we are intentional regarding how we spend our new found time this summer. The last thing I want to happen is for the enemy to throw new activities our way! He's made a habit of that already.

When I got home from leader's meeting this morning, Glen wasn't awake yet. He had a late night of studying last night, so I let him sleep. My plan was to accomplish a lot today - but we mostly just spent some time together. I can't complain - it was good. My brother came in town and we met for dinner with Mom. It was nice to relax and laugh with family - not rushing on to other activities. We even went into the mall and wondered around for about an hour when we were done (after much pleading from the kids!).

It's after midnight, the kids are in bed, Glen is still studying and I'm sitting here with hair color on:)  As I was thinking back on what a good time we had and how we didn't have to rush, it hit me that Glen is still working! Putting last minute touches on his sermon and looking up Scripture for tomorrow night's service. Why did I not think to hurry home so he could get started earlier? I was just so glad to sit for a while and not have anything robbing family time, I didn't think of what I was robbing Glen of.

He is a bi-vocational pastor, so he spends his days working at a job he enjoys and that supports our family. His evenings are spent with us - having dinner together, bouncing from ball practice to ball game or watching a movie together or playing games. When the kids go to bed at 9 or 10, he heads up to the church for quiet time and in-depth Bible study - his passion. Yes - he begins after the kids are tucked in.  Many hours are poured over his Bible, usually depriving him of much needed sleep that we take for granted.

As I've thought about this tonight, I think of what life would be like if he didn't sacrifice so much.  We'd make it, by God's grace, but I would probably spend many hours away from the family to make ends meet.   Thinking about Mother's Day makes me realize that I am nowhere near the kind of mom I'd hoped to be, but without the sacrifices of my husband, I wouldn't be the mom I am. 

Tonight I'm praying for God to show me specific ways I can help Glen this week.  Though he will still need to study, my goal is to take care of things that hold up the process.  I'm not sure what this will look like.  Maybe I can research a few things and have them printed out or I can help him prepare a power point (probably not, he's way better at that than me!).  Tonight I started by ironing his shirt for tomorrow morning.  As a stay-at-home mom, you would think that would already be done.  Not with our crazy schedule!

Feel free to leave suggestions letting me know how you help your husband maximize his time - or how you would if you were me. I'm always open to new ideas - especially those who've walked this path before me.

Thanks Glen for all you do that enables me to "train up" our kids in the way we believe to be right.  You're the best and I'm thankful for you!

Blessings,

~bottomless~

If the last few months are any indication of what the next chapter of our lives will look like, we're in serious trouble!

My ten year old son, Riley has become a bottomless pit. He is constantly eating, but never full. He was blessed with good metabolism from birth, unlike me;-) He wakes up hungry every morning, and always has - even to the extent of doubling over in pain as soon as his feet hit the floor. No kidding!

Grayson, my twelve year old daughter, has been cooking breakfast lately (and let me say, I am loving this). But he decided this morning he would eat cereal. Three bowls later he is still hungry. Really?!!!  I made him wait after the second bowl so his belly could rest. Still hungry. He ate the third bowl. Still hungry. I made him wait and he complained pretty much non-stop for the next 45 minutes. I let him have a small, fifty-cent package of chocolate donuts we bought at the convenience store last night. Still hungry. By now I'm thinking he's putting on, so I say, "No way are you still hungry! Forget about it! You're not eating any more!" An hour later, still complaining so I let him have an apple. He walks to the sink, puts his bowl down, looks at the clock and says, "Oh, it's 11:30, lunch time." For real?!!!

This must be why people brought a tenth of their crops to the high priest in the Old Testament. Besides the fact that they wanted to honor God, the priests couldn't afford to feed their sons, I'm sure! I can totally see how making your kids work in the fields helps everyone. No crops, no food. If hunger were Riley's motivation, he'd do anything! God will have to grant special graces during Riley's teenage years, and I know He will. I may need to find a way to work from home, as well though;-)

Needless to say, school has been a wash this morning. We'll start again after lunch and I'll just let him nibble while he works. Thankful for him, but realizing life is so unfair. My measly little biscuit with egg whites will add 2 pounds to me this week but after eating like he did this morning and every other morning this week, he'll still be tall and slim. WOW!

Blessings,

~socialization or adaptability?~

As a homeschool mom, I've grown quite used to being told people don't think homeschoolers get enough socialization.  Every time I've been told this by people who know my kids, they are sure to tell me that my kids are the exception.  Usually my kids are the only homeschoolers they know.  I love my kids and they are wonderfully unique, but they are not the exception.  We know many homeschool families and have met very few that need more socialization.  It's the only subject that people feel open to give their negative opinions on without first being asked.  Most people wouldn't dream of seeing me wear a particular brand of clothing, then proceed to put down my choice of clothes (at least to my face!).  They wouldn't bash my denomination or religion to my face, but homeschool seems to force people to take one side or the other!  If they didn't choose homeschool, they usually haven't researched it - it's just different than what they did so it must be bad.  Let's face it, some people are socially awkward - whether they were homeschooled or not!  Some people have a harder time adapting to new people, new places or new circumstances than others. I like to think that my kids are adaptable. 

To answer your question:  yes, they are socialized.  Even though they are not in a classroom with 30 other kids their same age, they are socialized.  If you ask me, they are over-socialized!  They play baseball, basketball and soccer.  They go to church and to the grocery store.  They are active in 4H and participate in classes like physics, public speaking and crochet.  They take piano lessons and Grayson even plays cello in the public school orchestra (Gasp!  Yes, they let her!  That's another question people ask).  Since their dad is a pastor, they make ministry visits to shut-ins, hospitals and nursing homes - even playing the piano at a local nursing home to uplift the elderly.  They knock on neighborhood doors to invite strangers to church (with an adult).  They are mannerly and considerate of others (not all the time), not easily angered (except by one another), they are confident - they can walk into a room and speak to anyone, of any age, any background or any race, and be real and speak from the heart (mostly that's a good thing, sometimes - not so much).

No, they are not perfect kids, neither are their parents:)  They will make mistakes - but they are grounded and headed in the right direction. 

If you have a negative opinion about homeschool, please save it - I've heard it all before.  I know you comment because you think you are in the right, but you don't answer to God for these kids - Glen and I do.  We're not trying to push homeschool on anyone so please don't take offense.  We're just doing what we know is right for our kids.

Blessings,

~flashback~

I ran across an old blog from a few years ago that could have been written today.  I began to think I've come so far, but I'm back in the same place!  Is there a lesson I didn't learn?  Did God make me do a u-turn and take that loop again?  Why the deja vu?

October 17, 2007 I wrote my first and only blog entry until I started again last year.  The entry was titled ungratefulness.  I had just started homeschooling and was working mornings in a local church office.  Glen was just a little over two years into the ministry and was working a  full-time job in another town at the time.  I  was in a place where I felt I didn't appreciate where I was or all I'd been given by God.  Low and behold.....here I am again!  I've pasted the entry below.....

Ungratefulness
Category: Life

Okay, this is my first blog.  Hopefully not the last, but who knows…

I have problems with "the blog" because it's like journaling – which is private – only it's not private.  So what would be the point?  Admittedly, my thoughts are not always "reader-ready" as soon as I think them!  I actually wrote this out last night so I could think on my thoughts first…….huh?

Lately God's been dealing with me on a few levels.  I'm not ready to share everything (remember, I'm a newbie), but I'll share on one thing.

Nothing ticks me off quite like people who are ungrateful.  When I take 2 minutes out of my day to come to your drive-thru window, at least have the decency to say "thank you"!  I know you don't mean it when you say it – but I feel better about the world and where it's headed! 

If my kids were to open a gift and not act like it's the best gift they've ever received (even if it's clothes...again), I would be mortified – and they would know it!

When I spend every day going to work, then rushing home to get lunch and schooling the kids, then getting dinner on and rushing to practices and piano lessons, then someone complains that their favorite jeans aren't clean?  C'mon!  Be glad you have jeans!  Kids in 3^rd world countries don't even have jeans – or do they?

Why, if I have issues with everyone else's ungratefulness, am I so ungrateful for where God has me right now?  Not just now – but always!

Am I grateful?  Does having a family mean having more dirty laundry?  Of course!  But thank you, God for my family.  Does it mean I don't get to see my husband very much because he's working his tail off to support our family?  Definitely!  But thank you for the ministry – and the job to sustain our family.

God's showing me that the things that mean the most are the hardest work.  I don't want to look back with regret and see that I didn't enjoy the times when we had soccer practice and Peter Pan play practice and birthday parties to run to.   If I am just grateful for where I am right now, then I can recognize all the wonderful gifts God has given me.  I'm trying to soak it all up – take time to breathe it in.  Thank you, God for my family – and their dirty laundry.  And thank you for putting up with my ungratefulness.

Five days  after  that post, my grandmother, the most stable person in my life, fell in her kitchen floor and broke several bones.  Seven days after her fall, she died....I couldn't think about blogging for a long time.  Ungrateful?  You betcha!   

The job I had at the church only lasted a few months, thank goodness.  Church  people are the hardest to please;-) God blessed Glen with another job.  More pay and in our  town.  Our life slowed down a little for a while.  It seems like busyness is creeping in again.  As I've said before, we're trying to pray over each activity and let the Holy Spirit guide - after all, no one can guide quite like Him, right?

I have come to terms with the death of my grandma and am so thankful she didn't suffer long on this earth. Most days I try not to think  about the fact that she's gone, but when I have a problem with the kids and I need answers, I miss being able to drop in on her for her "kitchen table" advice.  When the kids do something quirky or say something funny, I miss her sweet, gentle laugh. Yes, I  still miss her dearly and long to talk to her again and share a glass of iced tea with her at heaven's kitchen table.

We are busy, there's no question.  But God, please help me to slow down long enough to learn the lessons  You have for me the first time around!

Blessings,

~wake up call~

I've been pondering lately on something that happened last week.  I have been struggling with busyness and how to prune activities from our lives without throwing them all out and starting new - which, personally is my favorite option ;-)  A life in the ministry is not a quiet, peaceful life.  It's very busy, but I love our ministry!

Glen was in Washington D.C. last week on a business trip and it seemed like everything had to be done while he was away.  Grayson's best friend was moving to Arkansas and she wanted to give her a party, so I let her (and I'm very glad I did - at 12 years old, it's a BIG DEAL when your best friend moves), a woman from church was having surgery and I wanted to - and needed to be there, basketball practice, filling in for Glen during bible study, my week to teach at homeschool co-op....I began to feel overwhelmed - quickly.

Thursday afternoon, Grayson and Riley wanted to take their friends, who were moving, to the YMCA with them.  I dropped them off at the Y, headed over to help their mom do a little packing (not much, really), then went to the Y and picked them up, dropped Grayson off at home to get ready for her basketball practice and took their friends home.  After I dropped them off, Riley and I were headed home to get Grayson and off to practice.  We had 15 minutes to get there!  We rounded the corner after leaving their street and a very small, bent over elderly lady was rolling her very large garbage can down her driveway.  Riley said, "Mom, pull over so I can help her!" and before I knew it, words were out of my mouth that I couldn't take back.  "Don't you know we're in a hurry?    W  e    d  o  n  '  t    h  a  v  e    t  i  m  e    t  o    h  e  l  p    h  e  r  !  !  !"  As soon as I said it, I pulled the car over to the side of the road.  What kind of mom am I?  Isn't this why we homeschool, to spend time teaching the ways of Christ?  Too busy to help?  Really?

While Riley got out and helped the lady with her garbage, I prayed for forgiveness.  "Oh God, what am I doing?  Thank you for grabbing a hold of me with the words of my son."

By the way, we were only 2 minutes late for basketball practice.  We've been later than that with no excuse before!  Riley isn't just the "baby" anymore.  I'm going to purpose to really listen to him from now on.  Apparently he's learning how to do the right thing from someone ;-)

This week has once again been a busy one, but with purpose.  I'm trying to prioritize and pray over activities.

Thank you Lord for my busy life, and for kids who will speak up to even me about doing the right thing.

Blessings,

~babies~

Grayson and I returned Thursday night from a 6-day mission trip to West Virginia.  We went to a federal women's prison birthing center, where women go to serve up to 18 months of their sentence so they can spend time with their child.  I must say God changed my perception of many things while we were gone.

I thought I had no preconceived notions regarding these women.  They were felons- all related to drugs- but I knew in my heart that God had saved me from situations as bad or worse.  We all need forgiveness and someone to show us the love of Christ.  Honestly, I did  believe that before I met them.

After spending the first day with them, talking and trying to get to know them, I could see how easy it might be to get caught up in that lifestyle.  Each one had a different story, but each one was similar.  I realized I did prejudge!  In my heart I had assumed they were not good moms - that somehow I was doing something really good by spending time with these babies.  Even going so far as to think "if I could just bring them home with me, things would be okay"!  God quickly showed me that I'm no better than these women - only different now because of Him.  Some of these women have actually been saved since coming to the birthing center, and some grew up in Christian homes, but went astray for a while.  Only God knows what we need to go through to turn to Him.  If you knew some of the things He's had to bring me through, you would cringe!

I realized the biggest need was friendship.  They are friends with eachother, but like sisters sharing the same space, in need of outside friends.  Most have families that support them, but they live so far away, they can't see them often.  Most also have older children at home they are away from.  I have 16 new friends!

I really enjoyed the late night talks with Grayson about life and how Satan makes things look good at first, then we get tangled up in sin.  She's twelve now, so she's really got her own thoughts and opinions on things and I'm so proud of how God used her on this trip.  This was definitely and eye-opening experience.  Mostly God opened my eyes regarding myself...

I was in prison and you visited me...Matthew 25:36

Blessings,