October 17, 2007 I wrote my first and only blog entry until I started again last year. The entry was titled ungratefulness. I had just started homeschooling and was working mornings in a local church office. Glen was just a little over two years into the ministry and was working a full-time job in another town at the time. I was in a place where I felt I didn't appreciate where I was or all I'd been given by God. Low and behold.....here I am again! I've pasted the entry below.....
Okay, this is my first blog. Hopefully not the last, but who knows…
I have problems with "the blog" because it's like journaling – which is private – only it's not private. So what would be the point? Admittedly, my thoughts are not always "reader-ready" as soon as I think them! I actually wrote this out last night so I could think on my thoughts first…….huh?
Lately God's been dealing with me on a few levels. I'm not ready to share everything (remember, I'm a newbie), but I'll share on one thing.
Nothing ticks me off quite like people who are ungrateful. When I take 2 minutes out of my day to come to your drive-thru window, at least have the decency to say "thank you"! I know you don't mean it when you say it – but I feel better about the world and where it's headed!
If my kids were to open a gift and not act like it's the best gift they've ever received (even if it's clothes...again), I would be mortified – and they would know it!
When I spend every day going to work, then rushing home to get lunch and schooling the kids, then getting dinner on and rushing to practices and piano lessons, then someone complains that their favorite jeans aren't clean? C'mon! Be glad you have jeans! Kids in 3rd world countries don't even have jeans – or do they?
Why, if I have issues with everyone else's ungratefulness, am I so ungrateful for where God has me right now? Not just now – but always!
Am I grateful? Does having a family mean having more dirty laundry? Of course! But thank you, God for my family. Does it mean I don't get to see my husband very much because he's working his tail off to support our family? Definitely! But thank you for the ministry – and the job to sustain our family.
God's showing me that the things that mean the most are the hardest work. I don't want to look back with regret and see that I didn't enjoy the times when we had soccer practice and Peter Pan play practice and birthday parties to run to. If I am just grateful for where I am right now, then I can recognize all the wonderful gifts God has given me. I'm trying to soak it all up – take time to breathe it in. Thank you, God for my family – and their dirty laundry. And thank you for putting up with my ungratefulness.
Five days after that post, my grandmother, the most stable person in my life, fell in her kitchen floor and broke several bones. Seven days after her fall, she died....I couldn't think about blogging for a long time. Ungrateful? You betcha!
The job I had at the church only lasted a few months, thank goodness. Church people are the hardest to please;-) God blessed Glen with another job. More pay and in our town. Our life slowed down a little for a while. It seems like busyness is creeping in again. As I've said before, we're trying to pray over each activity and let the Holy Spirit guide - after all, no one can guide quite like Him, right?
I have come to terms with the death of my grandma and am so thankful she didn't suffer long on this earth. Most days I try not to think about the fact that she's gone, but when I have a problem with the kids and I need answers, I miss being able to drop in on her for her "kitchen table" advice. When the kids do something quirky or say something funny, I miss her sweet, gentle laugh. Yes, I still miss her dearly and long to talk to her again and share a glass of iced tea with her at heaven's kitchen table.
We are busy, there's no question. But God, please help me to slow down long enough to learn the lessons You have for me the first time around!