~hail to the sleeve~

Remember sleeves?  What ever happened to them?  They used to be all the rage!  There's all kinds of sleeves.  Long sleeves, short sleeves, capped and even three quarter sleeves.  I still wear them daily, but unfortunately I see them quickly disappearing.  I love sleeves!  I refuse to go without them!  Whoever invented the sleeve is a genius in my book!

All joking aside, I find myself browsing through websites or magazines and I feel the need to cover girls up with a blanket.  The only thing that seems to be more common than the missing sleeve is the severely short skirt accompanied by bare legs and mile-high heels.  I'm not judging.  Really, I'm not.  I understand the pressure to fit in.  I haven't always been a prude!  I too, tried to push the envelope where hemlines and necklines were concerned when I was a teenager - and I sometimes I succeeded. That's what kids do - they push limits.  And who could blame them when their role models - like Beyonce`, Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan, just to name a few - are leading in the cause to abolish the sleeve (and most other parts of the dress)?

Parents are supposed to set limits.  That's our job.  And when our teenage girls come crying about how everyone is dressing that way or no one is wearing what we've bought her, our job is to hold on as tight as we can to the limits.  I'm not talking about never compromising.  Compromise has to happen at times.  Give in on style or color.  After all, (and I know this goes against everything we've been taught) sin is ugly, but ugly isn't a sin.  Modesty should not be compromised!   

I searched the Bible for counsel on the matter and here are a few of the verses I found on the subject of modesty:

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control. - 1 Timothy 2:9a

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

And as a parent, perhaps the most convicting verse of all...

But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! Matthew 18:6-7

As the mom of a daughter, it frustrates me to fight against the "norm" on a daily basis.  I've been told (more than once) by well-meaning people that I can't protect her from everything.  This is so true.  I'm fully aware that I'm not capable of protecting her from everything.  That's actually not my intent - or my job.  God won't even choose to protect her from everything!  My job is to set limits and lead her, pointing her to Christ who will guide her by the Holy Spirit - if she will yield to Him, and to pray, pray, pray.  Modesty is not about covering up so no one will notice her (but would that be so bad? Ha!).  It's about the condition of the heart.  It's about obedience.  God's word is clear.  He expects obedience.  

As well as having a daughter, I'm also the mother of a pre-teen son (gulp).  The older he gets the more I notice the behavior of girls around him.  Girls have become significantly more forward since I was a girl!  Part of how girls relate to boys is in how they dress.

And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily (or deceptive) of heart. - Proverbs 7:10

Recently I was looking at pictures of kids who had attended a dance. (I'm not opposed to dancing, by the way:) ) It was a conversation with a friend about these pictures that inspired this blog post.  Pictures had been taken before leaving the house and the happy couple was all smiles.  After pics of the couple by themselves, there were group pictures of several friends and their dates.  When I looked at the group photo, I was amazed!  Each girl looked like the next!  Their dresses were almost identical - and they were all missing sleeves (and most were missing much more!).  The longer I looked at the picture, the harder it hit me.  These boys would be heading off to a dance where there would be hundreds of girls dressed just like this.  Hundreds!  In an attempt to normalize our daughters, we've put our sons in the middle of a no-win situation!

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:27-28

I wonder if we realize what we're doing to our sons.  We train them to respect girls, then in the most awkward years of their life, when they're barely old enough to shave, we put them in a sea of scantily dressed girls their own age who've been dressed to look 10 years older and tell them to mind their manners.  Look but don't touch?  Matthew 5:27-28 tells us that's not good enough!  How is a boy suppose to keep his thoughts pure, let alone his actions, when he looks up and he's surrounded by a roomful of teenage girls dressed like sexy adult women?  Do we expect too much from our sons?  Or are we expecting them to give into sin, so we quit trying to keep the temptations away?  Grown men lose the battle with lust, and we throw our boys in the fight?  I've often heard "Boys will be boys".  Really?  We're giving them a pass on obedience because of their gender?  God never excludes anyone from accountability.

Please hear my heart.  I don't believe it's our intent to dress our daughters so as to require every ounce of self-control of every boy they cross paths with (and the prayers of their mamas), but I do think our society as a whole is clueless as to the reprecussions.   Our daughters are beautiful just the way God made them.  They don't know that unless we, as parents convey that to them - in our words and our actions.  After all, what's wrong with a fourteen year old that looks fourteen?  It's okay to dress up and look pretty - it's not okay to look sexy. 

For our daughters who are being told they're worthless unless they bare all (or most), and for our sons who battle daily against lust within their own hearts and minds - say you'll join me in the fight to retrieve the sleeve! 

Blessings,

~prayers for west virginia....and china~

It's been so long since I've posted, I almost feel bad posting now!  Grayson and I are leaving in just a few short hours for another mission trip to W. Virginia to minister to female prison inmates who are staying at a birthing center to be with their babies.  It's a privelege only a few prisoners get - and they don't get to be with all of their children, only the babies - for bonding purposes.  

This past week we've been busy with lists of what to buy, what to pack, what crafts to do....what to buy.  We took this trip last year and I blogged about our experience.  I plan to do the same when we get back and things settle down.  I can't post pics of the prisoners, but I hope to get plenty of good pics of Grayson and the mission team:)  Please pray for our trip...for safe travel and that the ladies would respond to us.  I'm specifically praying that God will break down walls and melt hard hearts.  We made many new friends last year and we're planning to do the same again this year! 

Also, our friends, the Lancaster's are heading to China bright and early in the morning to pick up their newest addition - Lori Faith.  You might remember a blogpost about a fundraiser to help bring her home.  That seems so long ago, but like yesterday at the same time!  They're taking their oldest two girls and leaving the 3 youngest kids with family.  Pray for safety and for all aspects to go well.  All glory to God!

Blessings,

~larry hadley~

Today was a busy day.  Not that different from most days, but a day I'll always remember.  A few days ago I sent a Facebook message to a friend from high school.  Today while I was checking my Facebook account, George popped up with a chat message.  He's a songwriter in Nashville, so we discussed writing and high school English with our favorite teacher, Mr. Smith and eventually he asked who I kept in touch with.  Besides Facebook, unfortunately there's only one person from high school I've kept in touch with, and she was and is my best friend, Paula.  He gave me names of people he still talks to and we shared stories. Then it happened.  There it was in black and white:  

larry.hadley.died.

You're probably saying, "Who in the world is Larry Hadley?"  Larry lived across the street from me.  When I was the new girl in the neighborhood, Larry went out of his way to be my friend.  Larry was my first boyfriend, but only if you count 4th grade boyfriends.   He asked me if I would be his girlfriend by sending me a note that said, "check this box for yes".  I got to stay out late playing basketball with Larry and his dad because my mom could see me from the living room window.  We shot free throws for hours every night all summer - and most other seasons, too.  He gave me gifts.  Mostly cheap costume jewelry that I later found out he stole from his mom, but it still made me feel special.  Larry was a nice guy and he got along with everyone.  Everyone except his parents. 

When we were in high school, Larry's family moved.  He still went to our school for a while, but didn't live across the street anymore.  Later in high school, Larry's parents kicked him out.  I'm not sure why, but he never went back home.  While we were carefree and cruising Broadway as high school seniors, Larry was going to a nearby school during the day and working long hours at McDonald's at night to support himself.  I don't know how he did it, but he finished high school.  He also went into management at McDonald's.  From there, he managed a local Radio Shack, then I heard he became a regional manager.  That's the last I heard about Larry.  Until today.

Life is hard.  Harder for some.  I'm shocked that he's gone, but I'm saddened at the fact that I've never looked back and thought about him or his circumstances.  Did he have a wife and a family?  I don't know.  Was he sick or was his death sudden and unexpected?  I don't know.  Did he reconcile with his father before he died?  I don't know.  Did he ever confess Jesus as his personal Savior?  I.  don't.  know.

Life is hard......and busy.  I'm ashamed.  I have spent a great deal of time building new relationships with people so that I can witness to them about the mercy God has shown me through his son, Jesus Christ, but what about the relationships of my past?  Why don't we look up people from our past - who knew what we were really like - and re-invest in them?  Could it be that we're embarassed to tell people who know what we've done in the past that we were wrong?  I don't know.

Tonight I'm grieving the loss of a friend.  Not the death of a friend, but the loss of a friend.  Not the day he died......the day I quit caring about his circumstances.

Blessings,

~shoes, water and elvis~

What in the world do shoes have to do with clean water?  Well, last year, my brother told me of an organization near him that collects old shoes, sells them by the pound to retailers in developing countries, then uses the money made to purchase drills for digging wells.  My brother manages a gym and they were working with this ministry, The Shoeman Water Project, and collecting shoes from their members.

I thought this would make an awesome service project for our homeschool group, but Glen said we should get the church involved.  It's been a year, but we've finally gotten it together!  Saturday, October 23 will be "Soleful Saturday" at Community Baptist Church.  If you live in the area, please join us!  Everything starts at 2pm.  We'll have a bounce house for the kids, hot dogs and at 3pm, The Pullen Family will take the stage (or the porch, actually).  After the Pullen's, The praise band, "1-4-G" will lead us in a time of worship.  If you don't want to stay, but just want to drop off your shoes, that's also possible.  We'll have many eager hands waiting to take your shoes as you drive up. 

Today is Blog Action Day and the topic is clean water.  If you'd like to blog about this subject, just link up here.

I must confess, God is working on me.  I think I've been oblivious for far too long.  It's easy to ignore problems of others and focus on my daily struggles (which are NOTHING in comparison).   God has been dealing with me in this area for a little while.  I blogged a little about it here and here.  A few weeks ago, Grayson and I went to a Christian concert.  The Make a Difference Tour, with Max Lucado, Third Day, Michael W. Smith, and Toby Mac.  I knew there would be an opportunity to adopt a child, so Glen and I discussed it and felt it was worthwhile.  We have thought about it before, but wondered where the money would come from - the last thing we wanted to do was leave a kid with no help.  This time, we thought the same thing, but God seems to be telling us to take the step so He can show us how He can provide.  World Vision helps families in developing countries with clean water and food - specifically families effected by AIDS.  I prayed throughout the night for God to point me to the child He had for us.  To make sure I walk up to the right worker and that the first child's folder she took out, would be ours.  When I walked up to her, there was a man flipping through all of the folders and then handed them back and said he would look at more at the table.  What was he looking for?  When it was my turn, she asked if we wanted a boy or a girl.  I knew it had to be a boy.  Riley has been asking for a brother since he was 4!  The first folder she handed me had the meanest little face on it!  Scowling like he definitely did not want his picture made.  When I looked at his name, I could feel God's sense of humor - Elvis.  Elvis!  How sweet!  He's from Kenya and has 3 siblings and a single mom.  No dad.  Such a familiar story.  When I broght the folder home and showed Riley, the first thing he said was, "He looks really mean!".  Well, we'll tell him all about Jesus. 

I have to say, every time I hear about "Elvis" - you know...Presley, I think about our Elvis.  Elvis from Kenya - and I'm reminded to pray for him.  Every time I pray for him, I can't help but smile.

If you would like to learn more about sponsoring a child, visit World Vision on the web.

For too many years I thought I didn't have enough time or money to help.  God is showing ways that don't require "too much", but do require me.

Blessings,

~tough decisions~

Let me start this post exactly like I started the last one:  This week has been a tough week.  I don't know what else to say.  I've been dealing with a "situation" for quite a while that reared it's head again this week.

Three years ago this month, my favorite lady in the entire world died.  My grandma was the only person I really ever wanted to grow up to be like when I was a kid.  She was sweet and kind and always had a smile on her face, plus her fried chicken and mashed potatoes were out of this world! 

After her funeral, we received a rather hateful letter from a mentally ill relative attacking Glen, and though some of what he said can be attributed to the fact that he was grieving, most was just an outlet to spew hate.  He said very hurtful things to Glen regarding his ministry, saying he was hypocritical because he hadn't consoled him at the funeral.  Umm - he was consoling me and our kids (who were 8 and 10 years old).  My gut reaction was to fire a letter back defending my husband, but Glen asked me not to - it would only fuel the fire.  A few weeks later, we received another one.  This one was worse and he even threw in a few curse words for flavor.  Again, I didn't reply.  Over time, with much prayer, I forgave him, though he never asked for it or gave an apology.  Though I forgave him, I knew we couldn't open ourselves up to that kind of abuse again.  Even if he has a mental illness.  Somehow for three years I have avoided being around him, but this weekend was my cousin's wedding. 

A few days before the wedding I received a private message from him on Facebook that simply said, "hi".  When I realized he was on Facebook, I was immediately overcome with anxiety.  He would definitely ask to be my friend.  What do I do?  This would open me up to his comments anytime he had a whim to leave one - no matter how angry or depressed he may feel at the time.  I simply replied, "hi!".

I tried to be cordial at the wedding.  I waved and said hello.  I smiled from afar, but I didn't speak privately to him.  Immediately after the wedding I stood outside of the church talking to family I hadn't seen in years, while he waited in a car to be driven home.   In my head I went back and forth between wanting to reconcile and wanting to make sure I protect my husband.  I had pretty much decided I would try to be Facebook friends and see how it works out.  After all, he had behaved at the wedding and I could always delete him later.

When I came home after the wedding, I had two messages from him - and a friend request.  The first message simply said that the wedding was beautiful, it was good to see me and he wished we had gotten a chance to talk.  The second message was sent exactly one minute after the first and it said, "Have you ever heard of reconciliation?  Or forgiveness?".  That's all.  Nothing else.  No apology.  Not asking for reconciliation or forgiveness, but have I ever heard of it?....

Immediately I knew this "friendship" could not work out.  Though I love him and only want the best for him, I must decline for now.  I don't make this decision lightly, and I've prayed diligently over this matter.  He is a Christian and has many Christian friends.  Hopefully he'll find what he needs in those relationships.
I have always been a defender of this relative and his many "moods" - even before I knew it was mental illness. After working at a mental health center, I grew to understand a little more about his illness, but I must confess, it's still a mystery to me. 

In the ministry, you become a target.  People hold you up on a pedestal and expect you to be perfect and accomplish things no one else can, then they say and do hurtful things when you can't.  I was reminded last week that my confidence is in Christ alone, but also how important it is to place yourself around people who believe that very thing. When you start doubting your call or where God has you, Christian friends will encourage you and lift you up, reminding you where your strength comes from.  "Enemies" will remind you just how incapable you are to complete any task, much less those of Christ, until you doubt you were ever called in the first place.   I only have Christ to model my life after and it's clear that while He ministered to many people from many walks of life, His friends that He surrounded Himself with were like-minded with the same focus.

I'm sure this isn't goodbye forever.  I've realized that though Facebook is wonderful for connecting with people and keeping in touch, I don't think it's the way to go in this situation.  Eventually I'll be open to other forms of communication like letter writing,  but just not eager to get knocked down again so quickly.

Tough decision?  Yes.  The right decision?  Only God knows for sure.

Blessings,

~growing pains~

This week has been a tough week.  Not like you would think.  Not much different than usual, except unusually spiritually and emotionally tough. 

Last week was our first week at Bible Study Fellowship and it was wonderful.  It's always good to come back after summer break and grow in God's Word with other women.  This year we're studying Isaiah, a new study that they haven't done before.  I was so excited to get my first lesson last Saturday morning at leader's meeting.  Usually I come straight home and read the notes, but it was a busy day so I waited until Sunday evening.  One of the first things the notes mentioned was that tradition says that Isaiah was "sawn in two in a tree he had taken refuge in."  Really?  That's when the weight of the book hit me.  Not that I haven't respected God's Word before, but I've heard of the deaths of the New Testament writers.  I honestly hadn't heard this one before, and if this is a man who is willing to hide in a tree and be sawn in two to pass on God's Word.....well, I'd better listen to him! 

That night I dreamed of being chased through a forest and taking refuge in a tree.  I wasn't sawn in two in my dream (thank goodness), but I woke up with a real sense of fear.  I laid awake for a very long time honestly pondering whether or not to continue in the study of Isaiah.  It seems silly, but I really wanted to just meet with God everyday, meet with women every week - no drama.  After sleeping on it, I came to my senses and realized that simply meeting with God without "drama" probably equals no growth, as well.

I began to pray that God use this study of Isaiah to grow me (which should have been my prayer all along), but really had, and still have no idea what that means.  All week I've thought of that dream and what it might mean.  After reading Isaiah chapter 1 and reading about the corrupt leaders and national sin, I began to ask myself if I would be willing to speak Truth so boldly that I would have reason to fear for my life.  Would I?  I probably won't be put in that position, but what if God called me like He called Isaiah?  No matter what the cost.  It's a matter of life and death - either mine or the nation's. 

Last night as I finished up my lesson and homiletics, God grabbed me this time and wouldn't let go.  I had saved a question from a previous day.  Not recommended, but it seemed like a heavy question for the day it was given.  God knew when I would need it.  The question was, "List specific situations of oppression and injustice and ways you can help."  Easy enough, right?  I began making the list, but God kept bringing other ministry ideas to mind.  I realized quickly that this list is endless!  As I read over the list, I realized that even though everything listed was dear to my heart (AIDS orphans, domestic violence, human trafficking, world hunger, providing clean water to areas of the world without it, helping with financial hardships for single or widowed parents....), I knew anything I've ever done hasn't even put a dent in the need.  And I hadn't even finished the list, I just ran out of room.  This list could go on and on.  I wept.  Not just a little.  As Glen was studying at the church and the kids were in bed, I sat by myself on my bed and wept over the list God had given me.  I texted Glen, "I quit.  This is too hard!"  He replied, "WOW, must be a tough study!"  Yes, but after much pleading with God, He spoke to my heart..."Isn't growth tough?"

I don't know if God was testing me to make sure I'm ready for the ride, or if Satan was wrestling with me so I would quit.  Whichever isn't important, only that I'm not quitting. 

I spoke with Glen today about how burdened I am and we agree that our family has to do more.  How much more is yet to be revealed by God.  I don't know what He has planned for our family through the study of Isaiah, but I know I can't quit now.  I'm so pumped!

Blessings,

~frustration~

Apparently after my husband came to bed last night, he asked me to read a certain passage of scripture and give my opinion on it today....I don't recall that conversation at all!  Anyway, after he came home from work tonight, he mowed the lawn and we ate dinner.  After dinner we were talking and the subject came up - to which I had no response because I had no idea I was supposed to:) 

Glen had formed an opinion long ago regarding the idea this passage eluded to and I did too.  I won't go into what he believes or what I believe because I don't want to stir up controversy - we'll save that for Sunday morning:)  The interesting thing is that I didn't come to the same conclusion that he did this time.  I'm not quick to say one way or the other, but leaning toward the other:)  After almost seventeen years of marriage, we are disagreeing on a pretty big biblical concept.  Nothing that has to do with salvation - that's clear.  This is a gray area that really shouldn't even be argued over (not that we argued - it was just discussion I promise- the kind you can have in front of the kids). 

After what seemed like FOREVER, we agreed to disagree.  The crazy thing is, I'm now the source of his frustration!  Am I not supposed to be his "helper"?  It used to be unknown people or unimportant people that he could easily dismiss.  Uh-oh....we may have to avoid this for awhile!  Neither of us are avoiders so this may be tricky;-)  Pray for him.....with a wife like me, he deals with more than you know:)

Blessings,

~widows, orphans, or......both?~

I've been dealing with a particular subject lately in my quiet time - widows and orphans.  It is clear in Scripture that we are to take care of the widows and the orphans, but to what extent are we called?   And are we called to help the orphan, but not the widow?  Some would say they are only called to help one or the other.  Others would say neither.  Where one is mentioned, they are usually both mentioned.  Personally I think it's a heart thing.  If you are willing to follow Christ wherever He leads, He will lead you to who you can help.

I have felt for some time that our church is "church to the widows".  Some may think I'm making light of the situation when I say that, but it's true - and I'm not.  Approximately twenty percent of the ladies we've ministered to at our church are widows (some have already gone Home).  That's a lot!  And though it's true, a widow living in this country in this century doesn't deal with all of the hardships that a widow dealt with in Jesus' day, they still deal with loneliness, failing health and losing their independence.  Our government has made arrangements to provide food and shelter and a little money, but it doesn't go far. 

My grandmother was a widow until she died at age 80.  Her husband died of cancer when he was 42 and she was 33.  He had two children from a previous marriage she raised with him and they had eight children together - for a total of ten!  When he passed away, my mom was eight, the oldest was twenty years old - the youngest was six weeks.  Yes, I know the widow.  She scraped by for many years, working when she could, but always taking care of her family. Staying up all hours of the night to sew clothes for her girls and sew patches on blue jeans for her boys, mostly living on social security.  Not all widows are feeble old women - though they need us, too.  Some are young with all of their dreams shattered and a house full of kids that no one will help.  I can hear the chatter from the women in the church, "She should've known better than to have all those kids - now look at her",  "I can't afford to feed one meal to that family, those boys would eat me out of house and home" or "If I take one meal, they'll just start expecting it".  My grandmother quit going to church after my grandpa died.  She never spoke of why, but I have a feeling I know why.  Besides the work it would take to get that many kids to church, the church wasn't knocking on her door to help out.

As I look upon our church and the sweet people in it, I know why God has placed us here.  Yes, we are church to the widows.  We may not be growing in numbers as fast as most say we should, but God is using us to provide friendship, protection and love to them, and He is using them to teach and train us more than I could have dreamed!  What wisdom and knowledge I'm gleaning!  I have grown so close to them, it's like having my grandma with me again.  This time in our lives is a sweet time that I wouldn't trade.  I love these people with my whole heart!

God will give you His eyes if you are seeking opportunities to help.  If He leads you to help an orphan, don't turn Him down.  But please don't forget the widow(er).  A kind word or deed may be all that's needed.

Blessings,

~flashback~

I ran across an old blog from a few years ago that could have been written today.  I began to think I've come so far, but I'm back in the same place!  Is there a lesson I didn't learn?  Did God make me do a u-turn and take that loop again?  Why the deja vu?

October 17, 2007 I wrote my first and only blog entry until I started again last year.  The entry was titled ungratefulness.  I had just started homeschooling and was working mornings in a local church office.  Glen was just a little over two years into the ministry and was working a  full-time job in another town at the time.  I  was in a place where I felt I didn't appreciate where I was or all I'd been given by God.  Low and behold.....here I am again!  I've pasted the entry below.....

Ungratefulness
Category: Life

Okay, this is my first blog.  Hopefully not the last, but who knows…

I have problems with "the blog" because it's like journaling – which is private – only it's not private.  So what would be the point?  Admittedly, my thoughts are not always "reader-ready" as soon as I think them!  I actually wrote this out last night so I could think on my thoughts first…….huh?

Lately God's been dealing with me on a few levels.  I'm not ready to share everything (remember, I'm a newbie), but I'll share on one thing.

Nothing ticks me off quite like people who are ungrateful.  When I take 2 minutes out of my day to come to your drive-thru window, at least have the decency to say "thank you"!  I know you don't mean it when you say it – but I feel better about the world and where it's headed! 

If my kids were to open a gift and not act like it's the best gift they've ever received (even if it's clothes...again), I would be mortified – and they would know it!

When I spend every day going to work, then rushing home to get lunch and schooling the kids, then getting dinner on and rushing to practices and piano lessons, then someone complains that their favorite jeans aren't clean?  C'mon!  Be glad you have jeans!  Kids in 3^rd world countries don't even have jeans – or do they?

Why, if I have issues with everyone else's ungratefulness, am I so ungrateful for where God has me right now?  Not just now – but always!

Am I grateful?  Does having a family mean having more dirty laundry?  Of course!  But thank you, God for my family.  Does it mean I don't get to see my husband very much because he's working his tail off to support our family?  Definitely!  But thank you for the ministry – and the job to sustain our family.

God's showing me that the things that mean the most are the hardest work.  I don't want to look back with regret and see that I didn't enjoy the times when we had soccer practice and Peter Pan play practice and birthday parties to run to.   If I am just grateful for where I am right now, then I can recognize all the wonderful gifts God has given me.  I'm trying to soak it all up – take time to breathe it in.  Thank you, God for my family – and their dirty laundry.  And thank you for putting up with my ungratefulness.

Five days  after  that post, my grandmother, the most stable person in my life, fell in her kitchen floor and broke several bones.  Seven days after her fall, she died....I couldn't think about blogging for a long time.  Ungrateful?  You betcha!   

The job I had at the church only lasted a few months, thank goodness.  Church  people are the hardest to please;-) God blessed Glen with another job.  More pay and in our  town.  Our life slowed down a little for a while.  It seems like busyness is creeping in again.  As I've said before, we're trying to pray over each activity and let the Holy Spirit guide - after all, no one can guide quite like Him, right?

I have come to terms with the death of my grandma and am so thankful she didn't suffer long on this earth. Most days I try not to think  about the fact that she's gone, but when I have a problem with the kids and I need answers, I miss being able to drop in on her for her "kitchen table" advice.  When the kids do something quirky or say something funny, I miss her sweet, gentle laugh. Yes, I  still miss her dearly and long to talk to her again and share a glass of iced tea with her at heaven's kitchen table.

We are busy, there's no question.  But God, please help me to slow down long enough to learn the lessons  You have for me the first time around!

Blessings,

~redeemed~

I woke up this morning unable to sleep, heavy-hearted and nauseous but not knowing why. (And before you ask, I'm not pregant!)

For some reason Good Friday is not really acknowledged too much in our denomination, so it's been easy to put the thought away in years past.  Just keep busy and the day disappears.  Before you know it, it's Sunday and it's celebration time! 

Some celebrate with baskets of candy and eggs delivered by the Easter Bunny (I haven't figured this one out yet!  Did they miss science class?), others celebrate by going to church then having a  family dinner (which is how we'll celebrate), and still others don't celebrate anything. But in all of the celebrations, will we remember the suffering?

This morning after waking and studying the Book of John, as I have been since September, when I thought of what today represents, I felt sick.  Sick at the thought that 2010 years ago, My sin nailed Christ to the cross.  Sins I hadn't committed yet, but sins that He knew I would. When I think of the soldiers and officials yelling at Him and spitting in His face, I see me doing the same to Him.  When I think of the person who actually drove the nails in, I cringe because I know it could have been me.  Not literally, but with my actions, doubts and denial at times.

I'm thankful today that I am a believer in Jesus Christ and my sins are forgiven.  Thankful that Christ suffered for me, and thankful that, as I heard someone say once, "Sunday's comin'"!  Three days after He gave up His spirit, He conquered death and rose from the grave.


As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "                                                                                                                     Mark 16:5-7


Are you so sorry for the sins of the past that you purpose to not get sucked in by them again?  Or do you say, "It's not that bad!" or "I'll do better later" without true repentance?


Think on what Christ did more than 2000 years ago for YOU  but don't let it get you down, because Sunday's comin'!
Blessings,

~wake up call~

I've been pondering lately on something that happened last week.  I have been struggling with busyness and how to prune activities from our lives without throwing them all out and starting new - which, personally is my favorite option ;-)  A life in the ministry is not a quiet, peaceful life.  It's very busy, but I love our ministry!

Glen was in Washington D.C. last week on a business trip and it seemed like everything had to be done while he was away.  Grayson's best friend was moving to Arkansas and she wanted to give her a party, so I let her (and I'm very glad I did - at 12 years old, it's a BIG DEAL when your best friend moves), a woman from church was having surgery and I wanted to - and needed to be there, basketball practice, filling in for Glen during bible study, my week to teach at homeschool co-op....I began to feel overwhelmed - quickly.

Thursday afternoon, Grayson and Riley wanted to take their friends, who were moving, to the YMCA with them.  I dropped them off at the Y, headed over to help their mom do a little packing (not much, really), then went to the Y and picked them up, dropped Grayson off at home to get ready for her basketball practice and took their friends home.  After I dropped them off, Riley and I were headed home to get Grayson and off to practice.  We had 15 minutes to get there!  We rounded the corner after leaving their street and a very small, bent over elderly lady was rolling her very large garbage can down her driveway.  Riley said, "Mom, pull over so I can help her!" and before I knew it, words were out of my mouth that I couldn't take back.  "Don't you know we're in a hurry?    W  e    d  o  n  '  t    h  a  v  e    t  i  m  e    t  o    h  e  l  p    h  e  r  !  !  !"  As soon as I said it, I pulled the car over to the side of the road.  What kind of mom am I?  Isn't this why we homeschool, to spend time teaching the ways of Christ?  Too busy to help?  Really?

While Riley got out and helped the lady with her garbage, I prayed for forgiveness.  "Oh God, what am I doing?  Thank you for grabbing a hold of me with the words of my son."

By the way, we were only 2 minutes late for basketball practice.  We've been later than that with no excuse before!  Riley isn't just the "baby" anymore.  I'm going to purpose to really listen to him from now on.  Apparently he's learning how to do the right thing from someone ;-)

This week has once again been a busy one, but with purpose.  I'm trying to prioritize and pray over activities.

Thank you Lord for my busy life, and for kids who will speak up to even me about doing the right thing.

Blessings,

~blessings~

Wednesday, Glen and I spent the day in St. Louis at the hospital.  A dear, sweet widow  from our church, Mrs. Sue, had surgery for an aortic aneurism and since she's in her 80's (and secretly one of my favorites), we were concerned.  We left our town at 6 o'clock in the morning and waited and prayed with her children throughout the day.

I took my Bible and my lesson from Bible Study Fellowship to work on, along with a new book I've been reading to help pass the time.  We've been studying the book of John in BSF.  More specifically, chapter 13 when Jesus washes the disciples' feet, and one of the questions this week wanted us to tell how we are blessed when we serve someone else.  I had a pretty vague answer.  Just knowing you've helped them can be a blessing, having a hard time naming specifics.

After many hours of waiting and praying, Mrs. Sue came through surgery just fine.  A few minor glitches, but nothing major.  Praise God!

When we walked into ICU to see her after surgery, she was groggy and talking crazy like we all do after anesthesia:)  She looked up at her son and said, "Do you know Mindy?  She's my friend."  What a blessing to hear.  She continued with a story that blessed my heart.  "One time, Mindy filled in at prayer meeting for her husband when he couldn't be there.  She came up to me beforehand and asked how my day was.   I had a horrible day, but that's just what I needed.  She's my friend."

I left that room in tears.  I had no idea that she'd had a horrible day that day.  I had no idea she considered me her friend.  Who knew that simply showing I cared by asking how her day was would make such an impact?  Imagine the blessing I would've missed had we not been there when she came out of surgery!

Obviously, I have since changed the answer on my BSF lesson.  God is so faithful to provide when there's an opportunity to give glory to Him.  And God continues to bless us in our ministry with friends....young and old.

Blessings,

~the wonder of christmas~

The week after Thanksgiving always comes with harsh realities: 1) That the year is almost over (where has it gone?) and 2) that I'm not prepared for Christmas - YIKES!

Oh how I love Christmas! The Christmas tree, the twinkling lights, hot cocoa, singing Christmas carols, reading the Christmas story from the Book of John to my kids, explaining the virgin birth - yet again! But UGHH, how I hate shopping! Could this really be? Am I not a female? I'm told most women enjoy shopping, but I'm definitely not one of them!

Guilt and terror smack me in the face as I realize I have NOTHING bought yet! Lots of ideas, but nothing bought. Our kids are of the age that we don't have to fight the crowds on Black Friday anymore. Thankfully, we don't have to pinch and pull hair to get their favorite toys:) The things they want cost a little more than a Cabbage Patch Doll or a new soccer ball and I can usually find them online.

I remember when they were little, the excitement on their faces on Christmas morning when they ran into the living room and saw the presents filling the corner under the Christmas tree. As they've gotten older, it's been my challenge to keep the wonder of Christmas alive for them. It would be easy (though easier for some) to buy everything they want for Christmas and hope they're satisfied, but I know material things cannot satisfy the soul. The TRUE wonder of Christmas is that which DOES satisfy. How amazing that God sent His own Son into a filthy world filled with hate and envy, knowing He would be murdered by the very people He came to rescue, so I would have the opportunity to accept His gift and live a life more abundant than any storybook could portray. Yes, this is the true wonder of Christmas! As my kids get older, I pray that every Christmas they are more amazed by Christ than the year before - just as I am.

Blessings,